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September 25, 2012 by Karin Leave a Comment

Through the eyes of a child

I open my eyes.  This new day cracked through the sky to reveal the glorious sunlight.  I hear my mother, my father… they are speaking to someone outside these mud walls.  I hear my mother… joyous tears.  My father… with a voice… different.  I have not heard this sound from him before.  Hope?

 I hear the animals.  We have two.  The bleating goats… a milk provision.  My brother and sister like to walk with them.  I hear the stirring of the land.  This land of ours used again and again, by my father and his friends… in hopes that it will yield… something… anything to give us a meal.  I hear the gathering of my friends.  It is time to walk for the gathering of our water.

The night is done.  I am relieved.  I am afraid in the night.  The darkness smothers our two room hut.  The sounds of the night here pierce my skin and frighten me.  I pray for morning.  I pray for the sun.  This morning… different.  I hear the voices.  I sense… this change.  Joy?

I smell the waste.  Our village has no good place for waste.  The smell of it rises with the sun.  The heat burns the odors into the air.  I have always known this smell.  I wish I could wash it clean.  My mother runs to wake me.  I smell the salt of the tears on her cheeks.

Wake up 

Wake up

She whispers in my ear.  I smell her warmth… the dirt driven deep into skin by years of labor.  Working to keep us alive… fed… sheltered… clothed.  We can not pay for school.  I wish I could read.  I have heard of others… a few… who have this chance.  I have heard them speak of Jesus.  I want to know this Jesus that they speak of.

someone has come!

someone sees us!

someone sees you!

They have come to tell my parents of a sponsor.  Someone has seen me.  Someone has chosen me.  Someone has brought a new sound of hope to our life.  Someone has brought a smell of joy to this home.  Someone has seen us.

I follow my mother.  To see this visitor.  I see.  I see the smile.  The joy in my parents.  I feel a hope.  I have not known this hope before.  I look into the eyes of our visitor.  I see love.  I see compassion.

 

C atch the ones who have fallen aside, unnoticed, alone, forgotten, afraid, hopeless

O ffer a hand, a heart, a hope

M ove the despair from the eyes… replace it with joy

P repare a new heart for a new faith… a new birth into a great Kingdom… the only Kingdom

A ccept the prompting from Him… a nudge… a beckoning to open hands… fully

S ee the person… the child… behind the suffering

S hare the love of Christ

I gnore the lies that it will not make a difference… every. one. matters. every. single. one.

O ffer a chance to learn… to leave the poverty behind

N urture a desperate soul… in desperate need… of love.

 (photo credit – Compassion International)

1 Corinthians 13:13

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these is love.

Filed Under: Brothers and Sisters, Compassion, Faith, Hope, Joy, Love, Mercy Tagged With: child's eyes, compassion sponsorship, hope, joy

September 24, 2012 by Karin 2 Comments

Catch and Release ~ when it’s time to let go

They sat behind me.  A group of pretty young women.  The familiarity between them evident… a comfort level between friends… co-workers.  Common souls with clinicians’ hearts, spending days… years together.

A conference.  I’ve been to countless… absorbing and re-absorbing medical details, clinical jargon so familiar to me.  A life before my mama life.  A momentary re-awakening to hibernating areas of my brain.

These young women… seemed almost like girls to me.  I smiled to myself.  They looked almost familiar… a look in the rearview mirror.

I peered to the empty seat next to me.  Searching.  But for a moment, a tugging memory… the voice in my mind almost audible.

Girl, what do you want to do tonight?

The voice vanished.  I looked back, smiled.  The plans would be theirs.  My friend, my school mate, my comrade in the joy and madness of clinical practice… therapy with the injured… my pretty young friend… she is gone.

Our friendship began in college, continued through years of graduate studies, carried over into the workforce… in the same hospital.  We were sisters in arms.  We worked, we played… our group of friends… spanned decades.

Funny, how a moment jolts a memory… in just a blink.  A laugh between friends… whispers of agreement… arms of comfort.  These young women.  They reminded me of us.

A thought.  I scrambled for my phone.  The text.  When was it?  I had saved it.  A treasure for just this moment.  Searching.  There!

Girl   i was just texting to find out when you were having the baby and i found this    congrats

she is gorgeous

ill call soon

She never did.  It was the only picture of my baby that she ever saw.

Her sister would be the one to kiss my baby’s head… a kiss passed on from her auntie… this kiss given at my friend’s funeral.

I smiled, as if nudged on the arm by my invisible companion in this room.

The text was a year ago… to the day.  I just wanted to remind you to look.

The last months, a struggle.  My friend, disappeared into His arms.

I can’t help but hold on the last text.  The last voice mails.  It is odd to hear her voice… but, I listen.  Just every once in a while.  I miss her voice.

Pictures I have seen.  Her loving husband.  He fought so hard, right by her side.  He loved her well.  A dad filling shoes of a father and mother with grace.  The pictures… a beautiful smile next to his.  The face of a pretty woman peering through the lens… leaning on his shoulder.  It is not the face of my friend.  She does remind me of her a bit.  Bright smile… the dark hair… shining eyes.

This a young mother… walking through her own loss.  Raising young children without their dad.

The two smiles… a visible comfort.

It is an odd feeling… this joy… and pain… all at the same time.

Joy to see his face lit in happiness.  The sorrow on that face had lingered in my mind.  The prayers from my own little ones… for the comfort of this dad… traveling alone down this path of parenthood.

Pain, too.  She is really gone.  Something so suddenly… final.  A gift as I hear another whisper…

She is with Me

Do not be afraid

The joy swells over the pain like a crashing wave.  A gift from Him.  These two souls to meet.  All in His timing.

A message… from the third of our musketeer pack…

he has a girlfriend.  Is that ok?

This mixture of joy and pain running through her mind as well.

it’s ok.  it’s God’s timing.  He’s better at it than we are.

The joy.  The joy in this very truth.  He is better at it than we are.  Trust.

He will teach us… to catch… and… to release.

 

Psalm 62:8

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

Filed Under: Faith, Friendship, Joy, Mercy Tagged With: faith, friendship, joy, letting go, pain of loss, trusting God

September 5, 2012 by Karin Leave a Comment

The Beautiful Outcome of Compassion

New photos on our wall.

The week painting our kitchen and den ~ a fulfilling task while my warrior was away for a training exercise.

Mom, can I help?

Pleading eyes… asking for just a chance…

Hmm, maybe just a little.  

Painting, decorating, arranging photos are my greedy tasks… I enjoy the finished product… and give myself a little pat on the back when I am done.  These questioning young eyes want a chance to get in the game… they want to be a part of this… to have just one chance…

Ok

I smile… knowing the joy these helpful hands will feel… just to have been a part of this… to make a difference… to see the change.

Rooms painted, photos fresh from a beach vacation carefully placed… I grin… the young eyes light up ~ the work completed.  The beautiful outcome.  The faces of my young children peering from photographs… beautiful young faces.

Beautiful young faces.

What if these photos had a different background?  What if there were no vacations?  What if my children had a different background?  What if they had been born in a different place?  A different zip code?  A place of different opportunities?  A place with little… or no opportunities?  A place with few helping hands?  A place praying for more helping hands?  What if…

We gather at the computer… our speedy Mac, that takes us anywhere in seconds.

Can we look at their pictures?

Mama, can we help?

I smile…

Maybe just a little

it may be just a little for us… but so much more for them…

We click… we see…

Pleading eyes… asking for just a chance…

The faces we see… like my own, but different…

These questioning young eyes want a chance to get in the game… they want to be a part of this… to have just one chance…

My young ones, drawn in by the faces, the places, the stories…

Mama, can we help?

I smile… knowing the joy these helpful hands will feel… just to have been a part of this… to make a difference… to see the change.

The beautiful outcome

We click… two times.  Their names are Myrlande and Elie.  They live in Haiti.  My children pray for them, they think of them, they write to them.  They realize just a little bit more… the blessings we have are blessings to be shared.

September is Official Blog Month at Compassion International.  The goal is to find sponsors for 3,108 children in the month of September.  For $38 per month, a child will receive opportunity…

these children served by Compassion receive, among other things: the opportunity to hear the gospel and learn about Jesus; regular Christian training; educational opportunities and help; health care, hygiene training, and supplementary food if necessary; a caring and safe Christian environment to grow in self-confidence and social skills; personal attention, guidance and love.

I look at these opportunities and see what my own children receive… without having to ask.  For the cost of a toy, a Wii game, a new pair of shoes… these kids… with different zip codes… receive ~ a chance.

Will you go there? Take a look at these beautiful faces… with the questioning eyes… these faces that pray so much for just one chance…

Will you join us to pray for them?  

Will you consider sponsoring just one child?  

1 Peter 3:8
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.

Filed Under: Compassion, Hope, Joy, Love, Together Tagged With: compassion, hope, joy, love, together

September 3, 2012 by Karin Leave a Comment

The Greatest Treasure Found…in the Packing Up of a Life

We walked into the room.  My friend and I.

A lifetime of stuff piled in front of our eyes.

We were here as an offering…

His hands… His feet

A timid offering in the very middle of this field of grief.

We came in service…

to honor a woman I had never known

to help a man… a friend to my warrior… a man I had just met

to serve a God my eyes have never seen

My friend and I, we stopped… breath gripped in our throats, hearts heavy… we prayed.

Help us to be like You

We looked at each other, having just wrapped arms around little ones… little ones who face this earth with a brave daddy… while a mama prepares a home in heaven.

this is hard

please guard our hearts… keep us focused… pour Your water through us

We went to task.  A mama’s work.  Sorting, cleaning, organizing, boxing, moving, trashing, saving…

The saving

She, a mama like us, saving her treasures.  Baby blankets, toddler shoes, tooth fairy secrets, photos, cards… the treasures we mamas save… the things we can’t bear to part with… fearing that parting with the things means parting with time.  This time… now.  Parting with the time of our little ones’ youth… the precious baby years… the years that our young ones run, love uninhibited, arms wide-open… to mama.

He guarded our hearts for a time.  Through hours, He pointed us to our work.

Then a memento… a smiling photograph… a joy-filled time… peeked through the piles.

It could be mine

The clothing, left on hangers, the gear of her warrior husband, the children’s clothes… in all imaginable sizes.  She, a warrior’s wife… a mother of six…

it could be my house

my stuff

my memories

These things we all love to save.  We packed her things… these memories we long to hold… into boxes.  The treasures left behind, we tucked away, to ease a heart-break at their mere sight.

I save all the same things.  I don’t know why really.  Perhaps a “pack rat” tendency inherited from parents who lost everything while a world was at war?  Life as a warrior’s wife requires the thinning of things… but, I save nonetheless.

I save every memory I can

in the hopes that I will somehow be able to come back

Come back to the same place in my mind… the place I am joyful, the place I love so much… this place of motherhood.

I save for my own.  The treasures I hope may trigger a childhood memory… tucked far beneath… only to be brought into the light… by one small trinket.

I sat on her floor… sifting through her prizes of motherhood.  I prayed for her children… for her husband.  I prayed that the memories never travel too far from their young minds… until they can see her loving mother eyes again.

I held her things… and felt my own mortality… I held it in my hands.

These things.  They do matter.  What I saw in this sifting and packing up a life…

The things stay here… the memories that they trigger are the treasure

The greatest treasure she left them?  The thing I have seen most of all… in their young eyes…

She taught them about Him.  She surrounded them with Him.  They know where mama is… where she waits for them… they know she waits with Him…

this is her greatest treasure

 

2 Corinthians 4:6-7

For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.  But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

Filed Under: Faith, Friendship, Joy, Military, Motherhood Tagged With: faith, friendship, joy, military, motherhood

August 31, 2012 by Karin Leave a Comment

girlfriends

Girlfriends.

What would we do without them?

Before I was married, I would sit with my closest girlfriends and talk endlessly about our dreams… our thoughts of the future.  What would our husbands be like, how many kids would we have, where would our careers go…?

Girlfriends are the place we can talk about our wildest dreams, our deepest insecurities, our darkest fears, our mortifying moments, our ugliest secrets… real girlfriends.  We count ourselves blessed to have one good one in this life.  Girlfriends… they are the joy-sharers, hug-givers, laugh-til-you-cry partners… they pick you up when your legs buckle beneath you.

They are the place our heavy hearts… our weary minds… our tired spirits ~ can be washed clean… with laughter and tears.

I used to think, before I was married, that as soon as my wonderful husband whisked me away to the beautiful life of wife and mama… my girlfriends would be a need in the rearview mirror.  I would love them no less… just that I would need them no more.  I don’t know why I dismissed the importance of these very friendships that fill a special place that only other women can fill in the heart of a woman.

I didn’t grow up with sisters.  God, infinitely wise and giving, gave me four daughters instead.  In my younger years, my girlfriends were my sisters.

Only as I get older do I understand and appreciate what that means.

I see now.  

Of course, life as a wife to my warrior and mama to my six pack is beyond blessing…

The thing is ~ it is the blessing of these sisters that keeps me sane.

Those times when my last nerve is a bungee cord for my little ones… when no girlfriend can be found to smother the burning temper inside… I have muttered to my husband…

You’re going to have to be my girlfriend for a minute

Eyes wide, his brow breaks a sweat

oh no

He has grown to appreciate the gift of mama’s girlfriends… almost as much as I have.

The voice of a dear sister on the line

can you have a glass of wine tonight?

This wise husband of hers placed the phone in her hand…

call her

(I am pretty sure he was praying that his wife’s girlfriend would jump at the chance…)

We need each other.  Our men know this.

The times when I was solitary… a new person, in a new place, with new babies… these were the times I realized what these sisters really mean.

When I opened my eyes to God, when I realized His love, when I finally began to pay attention… that’s when I prayed.  I prayed for sisters.  God-given girlfriends.  These kindred sister souls… bearing the burdens, sharing this walk, keeping it real… offering wine and chocolate, just when we need it the most.

A prayer for my daughters… and my sons (because they need these kindred souls ~ just as much)…

a prayer for one good friend in this life (or a good handful) whose focus points up…

 

1 John 4:11

Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 

 

 

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Filed Under: Friendship, Joy, Love, Together Tagged With: girlfriends, joy, love

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Meet Karin

Hi! My name is Karin Madden. Writer. Warrior wife. Mom of six pack. Homeschooler. German-blooded southerner. Welcome to the place where I explore what it means to grow stronger - spirit, soul, and body. I write to inspire and encourage - to remind you we are not alone. By being bold with grace and speaking truth in love, we can become who we are meant to be. I'm glad you are here.

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