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September 16, 2012 by Karin 4 Comments

When I see you, I see me

Don’t you sometimes feel like a broken record?

(Do kids even know what records are anymore?)

It seems like I spend most of my time saying the same thing over and over again.

be nice

stop fighting

yes, you can do this

yes, you do need help with this

no, you can not have that… do that… take that…

It’s exhausting and I wonder why they don’t just get it the first time (or the seventh).  Why won’t they just listen?  Learn from me?  Do what I ask them to do?  I, after all, have been here longer… I know more… I love them more than they know… I have their best interests at heart.  I can see the mistakes they make… and I know where these mistakes will take them.

to sadness

to frustration

to confusion

to discontent

to trouble

If they would only listen the first time.

I read something.  The thought of it wouldn’t leave my mind.  Then I began to pay attention…

Watch the kind of people God brings around you, and you will be humiliated to find that this is His way of revealing to you the kind of person you have been to Him.  Now, He says, exhibit to that one exactly what I have shown to you.

Oswald Chambers

I began to pay attention… I found the people around me… six children!  I have been like 6 children to God… sigh.  Not one, or two, but six little children who are convinced that they know the way… bound and determined to do it their way.  Oh, boy.

I have been this.  To God.

I can do this by myself

I don’t want to do that

Why should I be nice?  Do you know what that person did?

I need (read… want) this, that, and that other thing, too

I will stop fighting when I win… I am right, you know

Humiliating is right.  I have behaved just like six young children.

I imagine my own words mirror His…

Why won’t they just listen?  Learn from Me?  Do what I ask them to do?  I, after all, have been here longer… I know more… I love them more than they know… I have their best interests at heart.  I can see the mistakes they make… and I know where these mistakes will take them.

Nothing will humble you more than seeing your own behavior embodied in a child, right in front of your eyes.

Then, a light… a child comes to me

I want to give Myrlande a gift

Is this a lot of money where she lives?

My daughter, only 9-years-old, thinks of her Compassion sister.  My heart swells.  The beauty, the joy… in the giving.  Maybe, this is something she listened to the first time.  Maybe, the opening of my eyes… have opened theirs a little bit more.

My baby, grabbing mama fingers, pulls herself up to take first steps.  Peels of laughter, squeals coming from this blue-eyed doll.  One.  Step.  At.  A.  Time.  Pure joy in her accomplishment.  This little one, knowing the strength comes from the hand that steadies her… as she ventures forward on her two feet.  Something I can learn from this little one right in front of me.

taking the Hand of strength as I venture forward on my two feet

The awareness.  Perhaps, the awareness of what you see in front of you, points back to your own ways.  The awareness is the first step in peeling just a few more scales from these eyes… revealing nuggets of wisdom.  Revealing… just one more reason to look around, just one more reason… to look Up.

John 13:14-15

Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet.  I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Compassion, Faith, Grace, Joy, Motherhood Tagged With: compassion, grace, like a child, mercy, what kids do

September 7, 2012 by Karin 2 Comments

Faith in the Fray

So you are walking along with God.  Things are going well… you are excited, inspired… you feel really close to Him… sense His presence.

You are on the mountain top.  It seems as though nothing could change ~ like you’ll never stop feeling this way.  You think you understand which way is up and which way is down.  You understand ~ and it feels good.

It’s like this in relationships.  Everything is moving along pretty smoothly… everything, or at least most things, seem to make sense.

Then.  You slip.  No longer on the mountain top… you are holding onto the edge of the cliff… with all your might… wondering

what happened?

I don’t understand.

I love this place on the mountain top.  It’s an exhilarating place… a place you know you belong… and you never want to leave.

But, we do leave it.  We slip… and fall… and sometimes tumble further down than we think we would go.  We lose the fire, the thrill… we become complacent, or frustrated, or discouraged… and we wonder

why?

What do you do when your life… when your faith… when your walk… is in the fray?  The fray ~ defined, it means a threadbare spot, as on fabric, or a noisy quarrel, fight or brawl.  Any of these definitions could apply.

What do you do when your life… when your faith is in the threadbare spot… or in the midst of the quarrel… the middle of the brawl?

You want to rise above the fray… get back to the mountain top… how do you dig your fingers into the crag and pull yourself up to the top?

I’ve been thinking about this, in the midst of mama temper… the little irritations with wanting to get things done, but having to jump hurdles to get the finish line.  I’ve muttered a few cuss words under my breath… and sadly, some over my breath.

I’ve been thinking about this, in the midst of relationships… that just aren’t going the way they should… the way I understand to be right… all the messy humanness getting in the way.

The longer I walk with Him, the more discomfort I feel… when I mess up… the big ones, pretty easy to figure out… but, even the little ones.  The mess-ups don’t sit well.  They don’t sit at all.  They stand up… stare me in the face, and say…

nope, try again.

So, what do we do when we are stuck in the fray… and we want so badly to rise above… rise above the fray?

  1. Tell Him.  Tell Him you are stuck.  Tell Him you want up and out of this place.  Tell Him you are sorry… and mean it.  The most amazing thing happens.  He forgives.  Every.  Time.  Amazing.  Nowhere on earth do we get a clean slate like we do with Him.  I don’t know why… but, He says we do.  I believe Him.
  2. Tell a Christ-loving friend.  You know the kind.  The one who will tell you when you are wrong… when you are right… and will remind you that you will not always be at the top of the mountain.  The friend who will help pull… or push you back up there.  If you don’t have this kind of friend, ask Him for one.  He will provide.  He’s got your back.
  3. Just keep going.  Keep climbing.  Keep moving… forward.  Keep focused on the right One… without worrying about why it doesn’t all make sense right now.  We don’t have the bird’s-eye view… the God’s eye view.  I tell my kids… just keep swimming… just keep swimming.  (Dory had it right).

Keep walking in faith, even when we don’t understand why…

Understanding only this…

Faith, and life, above the fray… that is the place to stay.

 

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Filed Under: Faith, Friendship, Hope, Motherhood, Perseverance Tagged With: faith, rising above, understanding why

September 4, 2012 by Karin 2 Comments

When you feel like you have royally screwed up

I looked at my warrior, over dirty dinner plates, whining children, and the mess of the day…

it’s one of those days when I feel like I’ve royally screwed up

He smiles the understanding only the other half of this parent pair could smile…

yep

The day outlined with the best of intentions… the planning of a birthday party, the gathering of school supplies, the minutiae of motherhood.  Wham!

the best intentions come crashing down

Grumbling off to the errands… four tethered along.

what, they can’t be apart from mama for one second?

I have stuff to do.  I can’t think straight while I’m lassoing kids

A (mild) mama temper tantrum.  I’m smoldering on the inside… wounding with my glares.  The older they get… the more they get the glares.

the expectation is what ruins the reality

I mention this to my oldest girl ~ she, nodding understanding, with a sheepish grin.

I’m sorry I was grumpy

She smiles…

I’m sorry I whined

Ah, but that wasn’t the end of  it all.  The day slid along, with more whining, crying, discontent.  Just one of those days when there is at least one someone… who has nothing good to say.  Sigh.

The end of this day.  What did we get right?  Well, maybe not much today… but the confirmation comes at night… at prayer time.  (prayer time ~ I suppose that is one thing we did get right).  The confirmation, not through words… not through perfectly met expectations…

The confirmation comes from my oldest… during prayer time… my oldest son, almost eleven… curls up in my lap… just to love his mom.

I suppose I haven’t royally messed up… I suppose we are doing ok

Keeping the focus on the right One

Coming back for a fresh start…

Ending the day with His plans, not mine.

To begin again, with Him, tomorrow…

Matthew 6:33-34

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Filed Under: Love, Motherhood, Patience Tagged With: love, motherhood, Patience

September 3, 2012 by Karin Leave a Comment

The Greatest Treasure Found…in the Packing Up of a Life

We walked into the room.  My friend and I.

A lifetime of stuff piled in front of our eyes.

We were here as an offering…

His hands… His feet

A timid offering in the very middle of this field of grief.

We came in service…

to honor a woman I had never known

to help a man… a friend to my warrior… a man I had just met

to serve a God my eyes have never seen

My friend and I, we stopped… breath gripped in our throats, hearts heavy… we prayed.

Help us to be like You

We looked at each other, having just wrapped arms around little ones… little ones who face this earth with a brave daddy… while a mama prepares a home in heaven.

this is hard

please guard our hearts… keep us focused… pour Your water through us

We went to task.  A mama’s work.  Sorting, cleaning, organizing, boxing, moving, trashing, saving…

The saving

She, a mama like us, saving her treasures.  Baby blankets, toddler shoes, tooth fairy secrets, photos, cards… the treasures we mamas save… the things we can’t bear to part with… fearing that parting with the things means parting with time.  This time… now.  Parting with the time of our little ones’ youth… the precious baby years… the years that our young ones run, love uninhibited, arms wide-open… to mama.

He guarded our hearts for a time.  Through hours, He pointed us to our work.

Then a memento… a smiling photograph… a joy-filled time… peeked through the piles.

It could be mine

The clothing, left on hangers, the gear of her warrior husband, the children’s clothes… in all imaginable sizes.  She, a warrior’s wife… a mother of six…

it could be my house

my stuff

my memories

These things we all love to save.  We packed her things… these memories we long to hold… into boxes.  The treasures left behind, we tucked away, to ease a heart-break at their mere sight.

I save all the same things.  I don’t know why really.  Perhaps a “pack rat” tendency inherited from parents who lost everything while a world was at war?  Life as a warrior’s wife requires the thinning of things… but, I save nonetheless.

I save every memory I can

in the hopes that I will somehow be able to come back

Come back to the same place in my mind… the place I am joyful, the place I love so much… this place of motherhood.

I save for my own.  The treasures I hope may trigger a childhood memory… tucked far beneath… only to be brought into the light… by one small trinket.

I sat on her floor… sifting through her prizes of motherhood.  I prayed for her children… for her husband.  I prayed that the memories never travel too far from their young minds… until they can see her loving mother eyes again.

I held her things… and felt my own mortality… I held it in my hands.

These things.  They do matter.  What I saw in this sifting and packing up a life…

The things stay here… the memories that they trigger are the treasure

The greatest treasure she left them?  The thing I have seen most of all… in their young eyes…

She taught them about Him.  She surrounded them with Him.  They know where mama is… where she waits for them… they know she waits with Him…

this is her greatest treasure

 

2 Corinthians 4:6-7

For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.  But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

Filed Under: Faith, Friendship, Joy, Military, Motherhood Tagged With: faith, friendship, joy, military, motherhood

August 30, 2012 by Karin 2 Comments

How to Live Your Life Backwards

I’m standing at the end of the long road.

The road with twists and turns.  There were potholes along the way.  At times the road was straight… unremarkable.  There were hills… they sloped upwards to steep mountains.  Then, the road down… the exhilarating rush down… the side views but a blur.  This road well-travelled.

I’m standing at the end of this road.

He puts His hands on my shoulders and turns me gently around,

Look back

What do you see?

What if, when we get to the end of this life’s road… what if God asks us to turn around?  Turn around and look at it.

What would you do differently?

Would you give thanks for the potholes… because when you climbed out, you appreciated the flat road?  Would you work harder to climb the hills, knowing that the mountains they might become… would burn?  Would you slow down on the downhill glide… and pay attention to what was standing on the side of the road?

I’ve been thinking about this…

What if I could live my life backwards?

What if I could turn around at the end… change it… do it differently?

What would I do differently?

If I stood at the end of the road and looked back… what would I do differently?

  1. Call my mom more
  2. Run to the door and hug my husband every time he comes home
  3. Turn off the TV
  4. And the computer
  5. Play dolls and dress up with my little girls… regularly
  6. Play Legos… like I am 10 years old, and trains… like I am 5
  7. Go running… alone
  8. Take a walk… with my whole six pack
  9. Clean less
  10. Get a Facebook account… just to see what my brother is up to these days
  11. Tell more people how awesome Jesus is, no matter how awkward I feel… because He is… and it matters that much
  12. Rock my baby… just a little bit longer
  13. Stay in touch with old friends… better
  14. Buy less for Christmas… give more to those who can’t
  15. Show my kids that giving is WAY better than receiving
  16. Sponsor more children
  17. Write more letters… on real paper, with real pens
  18. Say “in just a second…” and mean “in just a second…”
  19. Go on more dates with my warrior
  20. Take my kids on a date… one. by. one.
  21. Pray more… on my knees
  22. Read the Bible… every single day… with my kids
  23. Assume less… ask more
  24. Forgive… just forgive
  25. Say “sorry” … and mean it
  26. Accept “sorry” … and let it go
  27. Ride a bike, with my little ones, while they are little
  28. Spend more time at the beach
  29. Play outside… instead of watching them through the window
  30. Play board games… every time they ask
  31. Have desert for dinner… on Fridays.  Because it’s Friday.
  32. Give thanks to Him… without ceasing
  33. Say I Love You… every chance I get
  34. Let my kids know that I don’t have all the answers… God does.
  35. Thank Him… that I can look back and still have time to do all this

What would you do differently?

If you are reading this…

you can.

 

Philippians 3:12-13

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead

 

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Filed Under: Compassion, Faith, Friendship, Love, Motherhood Tagged With: compassion, faith, friendship, love, motherhood

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Meet Karin

Hi! My name is Karin Madden. Writer. Warrior wife. Mom of six pack. Homeschooler. German-blooded southerner. Welcome to the place where I explore what it means to grow stronger - spirit, soul, and body. I write to inspire and encourage - to remind you we are not alone. By being bold with grace and speaking truth in love, we can become who we are meant to be. I'm glad you are here.

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