PROMISE #18 ~ FORGIVENESS
Late afternoon… nearing the end of a busy day. Just the beginning of the 5 o’clock somewhere moments.
Mom, can we stop and get a treat?
Frustration in this mama soul rears its head. An attempt at taming this tongue.
No, we need to get home.
Baby needs to get to bed and your little sister doesn’t feel good.
Determination… full force… from this generally agreeable, gentle-spirited, gem of a girl.
My tongue losing its restraints… loosening the reigns… allowing a sword’s slice.
And on and on and on… the battle ensues.
Fellow passengers grumbling, weary, wanting the ride to end.
Now, I know the root of the battle is hunger, weariness… the need for rest.
Truck load… unloads.
Piling into the house of kids, bags, books, banter.
This worn child scurries to her room. Tears free-flowing in solitude.
Mama feeds bellies, calms the boisterous… now, off to discipline.
Mom, I’m so sorry I acted that way.
I nod, repeating the words right back to her. Wild tongue reigned in again.
You know, we all do that sometimes.
You are forgiven.
I am sorry, too.
Thinking the deal is sealed, mama squeezing love into this young soul… and off to carry on with mama tasks.
Not so much. Not done.
Mama, I’m really sorry…
Red-eyed and puffy she comes to me again.
I am just so sorry for acting that way. I know better.
I wrap arms around in attempt to press out the remorse… allowing room for the new. Filling the hole with love. With learning.
Mama, please help me forgive myself.
There it is. Right there. The thing that holds us back too many times. The thing that keeps us from filling our gaping wounds with His love, His forgiveness, His redemption.
We just can’t… won’t… forgive ourselves.
We hang on, with ragged heart, ripe wounds, plain old refusal. Refusal to give it to Him… and even more… refusal to accept His forgiveness. All this… by refusing to forgive ourselves.
You know what, my sweetie?
I forgive you.
More importantly… God forgives you.
Every time you ask for it. Every. Time.
Giving a regretful heart to the Healer. Not the easiest thing to do… not without revisiting it again and again.
An encouraging hug for my little one’s soul…
If God forgives you… for everything…
and He wants you to be more like Him…
shouldn’t we follow His example?
Follow suit with Him. Clear the river flow of Holy water… to run freely once again.
The child eyes… new again.
PROMISE #18 ~ God forgives us.
All the prophets testify about him that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name.