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March 30, 2013 by Karin 2 Comments

Surprise, Surprise

We’ve been waiting for it around here.

My little ones have checked squares on the calendar.

It’s here!

The first day!

They sprinted to bedrooms, rummaged through piles, and came up victorious.

Spring clothes.

T-shirts, shorts, tank tops.

Spring is here!

Finally.

We have all been ready for this new birth.

The buds shivering, ripe and ready.  Quaking at the stem.  Trembling at the last of winter cold.  Ready to burst at their seams.

Spring is here.

Finally.

Spring break.  Easter break.  The house bustling with excitement.  Time for painting eggs and preparing for all things brimming with the burning desire for new life.

The long, cold winter sliding into memory.

The noise of the house wakes me.

It’s snowing!

3 inches already!

My drowsy eyes fly open.

What?

Yes.  Spring is here.  This time to shed our winter coats and doldrums.

And, it’s snowing.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

We wanted this all winter.  And, we get it… now?

Isn’t that just the way it goes?

We want and wish and wonder.  Thinking we have it all figured out.  We know just exactly how it should work.  We know just exactly what we expect.  Our expectations seem completely reasonable, rational, and right.

Isn’t that just the way it is?  With marriage, motherhood, family, friendship… and faith.

We know how it is supposed to be.  We have painted the mural of life in our minds year after year.  Adding brush strokes.  Touching up streaks.  Changing hues.  We have painted the picture of it-oughta-be-this-way…

And, then, it is not that way. At. All.

Our expectations, our experiences, our expertise.  We have it all planned out.

Then, our well-planned, well-rehearsed, well-constructed lives are blanketed… with thick, white, wet snow.  In the spring.

The snow.  It does something.  It spreads a calm and a hush over the frozen earth.  For a moment… God whispers…

Surprise.

surprise

I love surprises.  Even in this.  This day of expected sun and warmth.  This day met with clouds and cold… and white washed glory.

Oh, this is awesome, mama!

Can we paint the eggs now?

The pieces don’t have to fit the way we thought they would fit.

It doesn’t have to be warm and sunny to paint eggs for Easter.

It doesn’t have to be winter for snow to sneak its surprise on us.

Expectations can be dashed and leave the sweet taste of expectancy.

Expectations can fall in flakes to the ground.  Expectancy is something much different…

Expectancy… knowing that He will show up.  Knowing that He is here.

Knowing that something unexpected will happen.

 

Psalm 5:3

In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.

Karin signature

Filed Under: A Day in the Life, Faith, Joy, The Good Stuff Tagged With: expectations, surprises

February 28, 2013 by Karin Leave a Comment

Why Don’t You Play More?

His sky blue eyes peered up at me.

Mama, why don’t you play?

I looked up from my very important I-don’t-even-remember-what.

Play what, sweetie?

He slightly shrugged while the blond wisps of hair sheltered his puzzled expression.

You know, games.

Why don’t you play more?

Deep breath.  My hand took his small chin and focused on this young precious son of mine.

I don’t know.

I should play more.

Could-a, would-a, should-a.

No good reason.  Endless unimportant reasons.

Oh, I know why.  I don’t play more so I can gather more stuff, arrange all the stuff, clean all the stuff, organize all the stuff, and do it all again the next day.

Do you ever feel like you spend your time chasing your tail?  Then at the end of the day, you are mighty proud that you caught your tail for just a second, realized that you were in an impossible position ~ holding your tail, so you let go, and started chasing it all over again.

Isn’t this the way it is with the endless chores and to-dos?  The must-dos and gotta-gos.

All the while, the little ones you love to the end of time are wondering why you don’t just chill out and play.

It is definitely easier said than done.  We, after all, must care for, feed, wash, clothe, clean, teach, and on and on and on.

But, maybe, just a little more time should be made to play.  Just play.

play

It’s something that I have struggled and wrestled with for over a decade of motherhood.

It’s easy to say,

Forget the dishes and spend time with your child.

Until the dishes begin to spill out of the sink onto the floor.  Never mind all the other tasks, and chores, and places to go.

But… maybe… it’s not as complicated as it seems.

There is a time for everything.  Everything important.

I read a study that stated that children only need 15 minutes of devoted one-on-one time per day.

15 minutes.

That’s it.

Some things just are more important than other things.

I dread the day I have a clean house… and silent rooms.

So, today… I will play.

Forget the mess.  For just one day.

Embrace the little arms, pull out the toys, add to the mess… just play.

P retend you are that little kid again.  It’s one of the gifts of motherhood.  To be little again.
L eave the mess alone.  It will be there tomorrow.  We are here today.
A ppreciate the view in front of you.  It doesn’t have to be perfect to be perfectly beautiful.
Y es.  You can do this for one day.  It is one day.  One day is a long time for a kid… remember?

 

Psalm 33:3

Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy.

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Filed Under: A Day in the Life, Family, Motherhood, The Good Stuff Tagged With: just play, like a child, the good stuff

January 3, 2013 by Karin 2 Comments

When you wonder what humility sounds like

What do you sound like?

I’ve been thinking about humility.  We have all heard that it is good to be humble.  What does humble sound like?

When someone compliments a talent… a character trait… what is the humble response?

Have you ever complimented someone, only to follow it up with convincing?

No, really, I mean it…

Yes, you are…

Yes, you do…

Suddenly the compliment has become something you have to ram down a resistant throat.

Irritating.

After a while, it makes you wish you had never said anything at all.

Take the compliment.  Just say thanks.

When I receive a compliment, what do I say?

There is a sort of twisted pride in this denying of compliments ~ true, valid compliments.  This strange habit of adamantly denying something that faintly rings with truth.  A sort of self-focus that longs to highlight a negative… shunning the positive at every turn.  I wonder if we spend more energy on ourselves in false self-defeat, than we do in acknowledging a good thing… a good thing we know to be true?

The truth is, we are usually aware of our strengths.  We are most certainly aware of our short-comings… whether we admit them or not.  Yes, there are the few among us who don’t require much complimenting ~ they do just fine on their own.

So, when we have these strengths, what do we do with them?  How do we acknowledge them?  How do we acknowledge our strengths without sounding arrogant… or worse yet, self-effacing.

Own them.

A few days ago, a talented pro athlete gave an interview.  What impressed me the most in the interview was his humility.  His humility in knowing that he is good.  Even great… at what he does.  He knows it.  He admits it.  He does not take credit for it.

There was my answer.

Own the gift.  Credit the Giver.

There is nothing wrong with knowing you are good, even great at something.  There is nothing wrong with knowing you have a wonderful character trait.  There is nothing wrong with admitting it.  There is everything right about accepting the gift… and giving thanks to the One who gave it.

Graciously acknowledging the truth ~ deflecting the credit to the One who gave you the gift… this is beautiful humility at its finest.

I had an assignment a few days ago.  My assignment was to ask a few friends, you know ~ the truthful ones, what my voice sounds like.  (Not my singing voice – thankfully).  My friends, loving and kind, replied.

It was an awkward thing for me to ask… the ultimate in compliment-fishing.  I cringed at the thought of it.  But, I did it.  I asked.

In person, the responses would have made me drop my eyes and shake my head.  Over email, I read them, re-read them… absorbed them.  I let them sink in and settle.  I took these words from my friends… and owned them.

The reply from one of my friends surprised me.  Made me smile.

bold with grace. 

In all my self-doubting, all the times I have thought

why did I say that?

why did I write that?

what was I thinking?

I missed the gift.  I replaced it with some kind of upside down attempt at humility.

Humility is not denying all that is good about ourselves.

Humility is not stiff-arming a heartfelt compliment.

Humility is not time spent self deprecating.

Humility is ownership of the truth.  Ownership of the talent.  Ownership of the quality.  The good God gift specifically given… to me… to you.

Humility is owning the gift, and giving credit to the Giver.  Humility is using the gift to show how awesome God is.

So, what does my “bold with grace” voice resonate today?

Own your gifts.  Credit our Giver.

He makes no mistakes.

Happy New Year.

 

2 Corinthians 10:13, 17-18

We, however, will not boast beyond proper limits, but will confine our boasting to the field God has assigned to us, a field that reaches even you… But, “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.”   For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.

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Filed Under: Friendship, The Good Stuff Tagged With: gifts, humility, just say thanks, talents

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Meet Karin

Hi! My name is Karin Madden. Writer. Warrior wife. Mom of six pack. Homeschooler. German-blooded southerner. Welcome to the place where I explore what it means to grow stronger - spirit, soul, and body. I write to inspire and encourage - to remind you we are not alone. By being bold with grace and speaking truth in love, we can become who we are meant to be. I'm glad you are here.

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