Perseverance Archives - Page 4 of 5

October 6, 2012 by Karin 2 Comments

Making room for the Light

PROMISE #6 ~ LIGHT

Do you ever feel overcome? Just plain overwhelmed with all the duties, details, and demands of your life?

I do.

I feel like that today, and yesterday… and maybe tomorrow.

My mind is so cluttered with the pinball thoughts that run amuck… that I can not seem to focus on one piece… one person… at. a. time.

Frustrating.

I try to catch up in one area, only to find myself lagging behind in another lane.

Aggravating.

I start to chastise myself for not being able to do it better, quicker, more efficiently, more gracefully.

Defeating.

I feel like I am losing control. Ah, the control thing again. Again.

when will I learn?

This time… today… I decide to approach my death-grip on control in a new light. His light.

please take this from me. I am at it again. I know.

Self denial. I want to remove the distractions today that cloud the words He has for me. The light from Him can only shine in the places I have cleared for Him to enter. His light and direction like a piercing flashlight through the dark, jumbled maze of my mind. The beams of light pointing a new direction.

This self-denial a permission from me to Him… deny self ~ allow God.

I think I must drive You crazy…

These times when my mind gets cluttered with the burdens of this world, the busyness of motherhood, the beastly selfishness of my natural wants… these times

I long for His light

I long for the light… all the time, but… I snuff out the light and plod along in darkness and wonder where the exit sign is. Then, the Light. His radiant glow… His brilliant beauty… shows up. In a friend. In a phone call. In a knock at the door.

Over and over He reaches and pulls me back… into the light. He answers the pleading call from a worn out sinner. Every. Time.

Our sinful nature He does not hold against us. His open hands, His redemption… His light… He gives again and again. It is ours to accept the invitation out of the darkness…

into His light.

PROMISE #6 ~ God will give us light.

2 Corinthians 4:6

For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.

September 10, 2012 by Karin Leave a Comment

Let’s get specific

We sit down for night-time prayers with our six pack.

We take turns. Add requests as we go. Everyone with an opportunity to throw his or her chips into the pot.

cashing in our chips

We go around and ask… each one…

what are you sorry for?

whom can we pray for?

what are you thankful for?

what do you need help with?

The thanks, the praise, the list of requests… roll easily off our tongues.

what are you sorry for?

That’s the tough one… we watch as the young ones squirm in discomfort. We old ones, squirm a bit, too.

um, everything I did wrong today.

Ok, that sums it up. Chips cashed in… sorry spoken… slate clean… good to go. Well, not quite. More like, squirming avoided.

what are you really sorry for?

Let’s get specific…

Specifically spelling out sin, the things we have done wrong… it is difficult, uncomfortable… we want to throw the chips in… without naming them. Maybe they’ll just disappear and we can move on, sort of forget about them… and pray that we are covered. We did say sorry, after all.

Name one thing…

We are all generally a mess… we sinners… we humans. The gift of forgiveness… in the specific places we need forgiveness… that’s where the humility and the healing live. Ah, humility, just as soon as her name is mentioned, she darts into the corner… hiding behind pride. We want to hide behind the generalities…

here are my chips…

can You just get rid of them?

replace them with Your grace and mercy?

No, I don’t really want to pinpoint them… some of them are pretty bad.

Specifically pointing out to God what we have done wrong… although He already knows it… this is a painful thing. The specifics are where we are honest with ourselves… before Him. Once we point out the details… the very places we are broken ~ or have broken others… once we point out these details, we find ourselves at a cross-road. We change… or we disobey. Obedience is a tough one for our human nature. The confession, the change, the obedience… they are not about shame. They are the road to healing. Healing for our sake, others’ sake, His sake.

You can see God using some lives, but into your life an obstacle has come and you do not seem to be of any use. Keep paying attention to the Source, and God will either take you round the obstacle or remove it. The river of the Spirit of God overcomes all obstacles. Never get your eyes on the obstacle or on the difficulty. The obstacle is a matter of indifference to the river which will flow steadily through you if you remember to keep right at the Source.

Oswald Chambers

The place we get right with God… this is the place we move the boulder from the river. Make a clear path for the living water to flow through us. The water will not be stopped by the boulder, it will find a way around, but the path clear of obstacles is the straightest… clearest path.

I don’t want to be an obstacle to His work… I want to teach my children how to open their road for Him. The way I know to get to the healing, the clearing of the way, the place of obedience… is by telling Him exactly where I see my mistakes, by asking Him to show me the ones I don’t see so clearly. Specifically.

Tell Him where you messed up… He knows already.

He’ll get you to the healing place…

If you allow Him into the hidden places.

He already knows. He is waiting to forgive… as soon as we name our chips. One. By. One.

Great relief.

Proverbs 28:13

He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

September 7, 2012 by Karin 2 Comments

Faith in the Fray

So you are walking along with God. Things are going well… you are excited, inspired… you feel really close to Him… sense His presence.

You are on the mountain top. It seems as though nothing could change ~ like you’ll never stop feeling this way. You think you understand which way is up and which way is down. You understand ~ and it feels good.

It’s like this in relationships. Everything is moving along pretty smoothly… everything, or at least most things, seem to make sense.

Then. You slip. No longer on the mountain top… you are holding onto the edge of the cliff… with all your might… wondering

what happened?

I don’t understand.

I love this place on the mountain top. It’s an exhilarating place… a place you know you belong… and you never want to leave.

But, we do leave it. We slip… and fall… and sometimes tumble further down than we think we would go. We lose the fire, the thrill… we become complacent, or frustrated, or discouraged… and we wonder

why?

What do you do when your life… when your faith… when your walk… is in the fray? The fray ~ defined, it means a threadbare spot, as on fabric, or a noisy quarrel, fight or brawl. Any of these definitions could apply.

What do you do when your life… when your faith is in the threadbare spot… or in the midst of the quarrel… the middle of the brawl?

You want to rise above the fray… get back to the mountain top… how do you dig your fingers into the crag and pull yourself up to the top?

I’ve been thinking about this, in the midst of mama temper… the little irritations with wanting to get things done, but having to jump hurdles to get the finish line. I’ve muttered a few cuss words under my breath… and sadly, some over my breath.

I’ve been thinking about this, in the midst of relationships… that just aren’t going the way they should… the way I understand to be right… all the messy humanness getting in the way.

The longer I walk with Him, the more discomfort I feel… when I mess up… the big ones, pretty easy to figure out… but, even the little ones. The mess-ups don’t sit well. They don’t sit at all. They stand up… stare me in the face, and say…

nope, try again.

So, what do we do when we are stuck in the fray… and we want so badly to rise above… rise above the fray?

Tell Him. Tell Him you are stuck. Tell Him you want up and out of this place. Tell Him you are sorry… and mean it. The most amazing thing happens. He forgives. Every. Time. Amazing. Nowhere on earth do we get a clean slate like we do with Him. I don’t know why… but, He says we do. I believe Him.
Tell a Christ-loving friend. You know the kind. The one who will tell you when you are wrong… when you are right… and will remind you that you will not always be at the top of the mountain. The friend who will help pull… or push you back up there. If you don’t have this kind of friend, ask Him for one. He will provide. He’s got your back.
Just keep going. Keep climbing. Keep moving… forward. Keep focused on the right One… without worrying about why it doesn’t all make sense right now. We don’t have the bird’s-eye view… the God’s eye view. I tell my kids… just keep swimming… just keep swimming. (Dory had it right).

Keep walking in faith, even when we don’t understand why…

Understanding only this…

Faith, and life, above the fray… that is the place to stay.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

August 19, 2012 by Karin 2 Comments

Clay in the Potter’s Hands

You know the feeling that you get when you think that you are going in the right direction?

That feeling that everything is falling into place and there can be no doubt that you are moving forward.

Everything is moving along beautifully. Then. It. Stops.

What happened?

I was so sure…

Is this not the way?

This comes in motherhood, marriage, friendship, relationships, callings, and especially in… faith.

I thought I had it figured out…

at least I thought I was on the way to figuring it out.

Not so much. A big fat, red STOP SIGN. There it is. You are at a stand-still and you don’t know which way to go…

Am I moving in the right direction?

Did I mess up?

I just don’t get it…

When this happens… it’s frustrating and confusing… just when you think you can fit God and His plans into a neat, tidy package. Sigh.

Once upon a time… I would have ignored the thoughts, the promptings… I would have carried on under my own will, my own ideas. I can do this.

One step closer. This time… I drop to my knees… and pray. Hard. The kind of prayer that sounds like a sniffling, weepy, incoherent child.

I don’t get it!

Where did I mess up?

Please show me.

You know what? He does ~ He shows me. Again. Every time. In His time. But, He always listens and He always gives wisdom… when we mean it. When we really want it ~ no matter the cost to our fragile egos.

The flailing soul in the quick sand learns to… hold still. Pray.

The quick sand stops its hungry pull downward… when we just stop fighting it. He is right there. Waiting for us to… hold still.

It’s on my knees, in utter silence (which is pretty difficult to come by around here)… it’s here, that He answers.

The funny thing, the way He always blows my mind… He answers in a way that is the direct opposite of what I expected. And this direct opposite way is the perfect answer to my prayers. Amazing. Every time.

I read something this morning…

Discouragement is disenchanted self-love, and self-love may be love of my devotion to Jesus.

~ Oswald Chambers

Oh, to think that my love for Christ would be over-shadowed by my love for my own devotion to Him… not His love for me. His will, not mine.

These earnest prayers, like a babbling child… they are the ones He answers. A disciplining by the Father to His child… keep it real. Allowing the Spirit to keep me in check.

That I would become clay, softened in the hands of the Potter.

James 1:4-5

Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

August 15, 2012 by Karin Leave a Comment

Come As You Are

This place is a little bit uncomfortable for me.

The discomfort comes from this unseen nudging. The nudging to be transparent.

Transparency is pretty uncomfortable.

I have always thought that in order to be a good Christian… the kind of Christian that can speak to fellow Christians about the faith, and non-Christians about the beauty and need for the faith… in order to be a good Christian, I had to be, well… good.

I’m not always good. In fact, there are way too many times that I am far from good. I am definitely not good enough to be a representative for the One who has given us all.

Ok, work a little harder…

do a little better ~ a lot better, then, yes, then…

I can do whatever it is that God has planned for me.

I thought ~ as soon as I take my last sip of wine, or my last taste of beer (I am German-blooded and married to an Irish-blooded man, after all)… as soon as I take my last bite of chocolate (ok, chocolate is not a bad thing)… as soon as I stop yelling at my kids… as soon as I say my last cuss word… as soon as I get it together and stop messing up… then, I can be a good Christian and go out and represent Christ and His followers properly.

Here it is…

I’ll never be good enough. All those things don’t keep me in bondage. Those things don’t keep me from getting closer to Him… from hearing Him more clearly… from following Him with my heart wide open. My bondage comes from somewhere else.

What keeps me shackled and slows my running to Him with open arms is not something that I do occasionally. What keeps me in this place of dragging my heels is the uncomfortable. The uncomfortable transparency that comes with being truthful. Speaking the truth about my faith, my heart, my thoughts ~ the fear of looking a bit like a weirdo. The uncomfortable emotions… the unspoken anxiety that I may somehow mess up my kids and be responsible for something ~ anything ~ going wrong in their lives… the unspoken frustrations I feel towards my husband, whom I love dearly… the unspoken fear that I won’t be able to help my aging parents, while my mother’s mind slowly loses the memories that I share with her… the unspoken irritation that I sometimes feel towards fellow believers… the unspoken judgements that spark in my cluttered mind…

If I could just fix all this, well, then I could finally do whatever it is that God has planned for me.

These weaknesses just get in my way.

It’s uncomfortable… the hardships, the difficulties… the truth.

Then, He speaks to my heart. I am hanging on to baggage that is not mine.

…the truth will set you free. (John 8:32)

Oh, He is patient and loving with this child of His.

His grace is sufficient

He opens my eyes to the burdens that weigh my heart down… my heart, in a place that it is not meant to stay. In guilt. In bondage.

What keeps us in bondage is not always so obvious to our searching minds… but, sometimes, those chains are ones we have become so accustomed to wearing that we don’t even recognize them as chains anymore. We trudge on under the weight of our self-imposed burdens… forgetting to give them to God.

Complete surrender… it means just that. Complete surrender.

I don’t have to be good enough… we don’t have to be good enough… we could never be good enough. He loves us just as we are. He welcomes us to come as we are. He has a mighty work… and mighty joy planned for us. Just as we are.

If we would just surrender… all of it. To Him.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Making room for the Light

Let’s get specific

Faith in the Fray

Clay in the Potter’s Hands

Come As You Are

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