Sticks and stones.

We all know the saying… sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me…

I don’t know who came up with this clever little rhyme, but it couldn’t be further from the truth.

Sticks and stones may break bones – yes

Words can hurt ~ they may break a soul… or at least wound it.

Motherhood can bring out the mightiest temper I have ever seen. I like to blame it on a “German temper,” or being a redhead… I don’t like to blame it on the real culprit.

My tongue.

The part that lashes out, unexpectedly, in an attempt to bring order, peace (probably not the best path toward peace), quiet (again, not so much), discipline (and there are better ways to get there).

The truth is ~ a tongue lashes to spew anger.  The wild whip snaps ~ just when the last nerve… snaps.

The words that escape the lips that refuse to stay tight … these words ricochet inside a body, from heart to head to the lungs ~ taking away a breath.  These words hurt like sticks and stones… or worse.  The problem with these words is that they never fall away… they don’t end up in a ditch like the sticks and stones… in a ditch where they belong.

It brings back a memory… 12 years ago… a story shared during a newlywed argument…

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.  His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence.  The first day the boy drove 33 nails into the fence.  Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down.  He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all.  He told his father about it, and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.  The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.  He said, “you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence.  The fence will never be the same.  When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.”  You can put a knife in a man and draw it out.  It won’t matter how many times you say, “I’m sorry.”  The wound is still there.  Make sure you control your temper the next time you are tempted to say something you will regret later.

– Author Unknown

The ears needing to listen to these words now are mine.  Yes, the whining, the crying, the fighting of children can bring the steadiest mama to her knees… the mama who fervently loves her young brood.

It is not a coincidence ~ nothing is ~ that the words from Him are repeated three times this week.  Three times these words surface to the eyes of a mom who needs to see them, to the ears of a mom who needs to listen to them.  They appear in a lesson… late into the night… to this mama seeking the truth, they appear in a crumpled note left on the floor of a little girl’s bedroom, they are spoken aloud in a sermon ~ all in the very same week.  Ok, I get it.  I hear.  Oh, to take it to heart and put it into practice!  The One who knows all shares another pearl with the child.

My little boy, wide-eyed and sad after a harsh reprimand (I may have mentioned “boarding school” ~ I didn’t mean it)… my little one looks intently into mommy’s eyes,

You can’t take words back.

My eyes focus… these are not words of a small child… the message repeated again.

You can’t take words back.

You can’t take them back.

I ask him where he heard that, why he thought to say that.  My little one shrugs, not certain why the thought struck him while he perched on his “time out chair.”  He knows that his older, wiser seven-year-old sister told him that (I don’t know what they must have argued about to bring this thought to her mind).

Mama’s head hangs in shame.

You are right.  That is the truth.  You can’t take words back.

The moment passes, a day passes.  Life continues… His words ringing in my ears.

I look at my little one, blue eyes smiling… I say to him,

I love you love you love you!

Mommy grins…

Can’t take it back!

The clever little one, smiling with arms wrapped tight around mama’s neck, replies…

I love you to infinity!

Can’t take it back.

No new holes in the fence… holes filled with love… a mother’s love, a child’s love… God’s love.

James 1:19

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry