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November 10, 2013 by Karin Leave a Comment

Any Given Sunday

31 days of Good Deeds 31 Days of Good Deeds

(click here for the series)

~ Day 29 ~

The more we have searched for good deeds at our house, the more our kids want to see them.

Many times we put our kids up to the deed and show them how to put the other person first.

One of the best parts of being a mom is watching them be kind on their own.  No pushing.  No prodding.

We have watched this story several times.

No one prompted these kids to do what they did… they just did it.

The best part is at the end.  When we go from thinking about ourselves and our friends – to thinking about someone else…

Any given Sunday… an awesome football story about some awesome kids.

Happy Sunday.

(If you are reading this in an email, please click to the blog to watch the 3 minute video)

 

Matthew 7:12

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

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Filed Under: Community, Friendship, Good Deeds, The Good Stuff Tagged With: kids and football, kids' deeds, the other person first

November 8, 2013 by Karin Leave a Comment

You Just Never Know…

31 days of Good Deeds 31 Days of Good Deeds

(click here for the series)

~ Day 27 ~

It looks like summertime.  You’d never know it is fall in the middle of the sunny desert.

My eyes scan the horizon for any glimpse of fall leaves in this sandy town.  Nothing.  This place of perpetual summer leaves and green cacti.

I’m left to close my eyes.  Behind the lids I see the glorious gold.  The rusty orange, raging red, and luminous yellow blaze in my mind’s eye.

The leaves will fall and again I’ll close my eyes to see the thick pillow of snow cascade across the landscape.  This, I think, we might miss the most.  The winter snow.  There is just something about snow that makes everyone feel more like a brother, or a sister.  Like we are trapped in a down comforter together.  The snow feathers all around while we gaze in amazement and offer hands of help.  There is something about the snow that quiets the earth and fills in the lines of division with white goodness.

We can look into the distance here and see the white caps of jagged mountains.  These hills that surround us now will soon be covered in a white blanket.  Almost close enough to reach, but not near enough to our front door step.

I remember the scene.  My front door step just three years ago.  I didn’t glimpse the stone of those steps for months.  Two blizzards raged outside, back to back… just after he left.   I watched the wind whip the branches around as the ice thickened and grabbed hold of the fast falling flakes.

The mounds grew and grew.  By morning all we could see was white.  Like a ski chalet somewhere on the other side of the world.  While my warrior, green bags in tow, flew far away… somewhere to the other side of the world.  Deserts far away from the white down on our front stoop.

He loves this stuff.  I wish he could see this…

The shrieks and jubilant hollers from our, then, pack of five filled the cozy rooms.  Some of the glee came right from mama’s mouth.  There’s just something about snow.  It brings me back to childhood memories while holding me in the present moment – all at the same time.  Nothing else quite does that.

Blanket of snow

Weeks and weeks went by.  Snow does begin to wear on mama bear somewhere between the soaked suits and wet boots.  Many times I thought,

This would be so much better with two.  He would just love this.

Friends with warrior hearts and pastors with servant’s souls came day after day to make sure mama and babies had supplies and a shoveled driveway.  We just can’t make it through the cold days without our brothers and sisters.  The white goodness in the hearts of friends and neighbors quieted and warmed our souls in the middle of missing daddy.

After months of snowy ground cover, the walkways seemed to transform to a slick glistening path of reflection… and danger of broken bones.

Plowing through

I don’t remember quite what I was doing, but I know just where I was standing when I saw her carefully climb those slick steps.  My mind quickly made the judgement call,

Who on earth tries to sell stuff door-to-door in weather like this?  Just nuts…

Her hand went to the door and she knocked briefly.  She was dressed for the weather with a hat that capped what I was sure was plum craziness.

I opened the door anticipating,

No thank you, we aren’t interested.

It just goes to show you… not so fast.  Not so fast with that judgement thing.  You never know… you might just being opening the door to a gift.

She smiled at me,

Hi.  I’m your neighbor down the street.

She pointed to the house.  Oh, I knew the house.  We all knew she was a hoarder.  Not in the sense that all of us have trouble letting go, but in the true definition of hoarder.  The house seemed to slowly disappear behind overgrown shrubs; and any glimpse into the cracked garage door bore witness to years and years of newspapers… and so much more.  Stacks and stacks piled behind the darkened windows.  Occasionally we would see a car come and go.

What could bring a person to this place… hoarding?  The stories swirled of sadness… the passing of her husband was said to start it all.  But, who knows where it all really starts?

My eyes widened as a smile crept to my face,

Hi.  How are you?  I’m Karin.

She smiled, shook my hand, and went on,

I heard your husband was deployed.  I know you have a lot of kids down here and that you probably can’t get to the store.  I was at Home Depot and grabbed the last two bags of rock salt.  I want you to have them for your walkway.  It can be dangerous with all this ice and I don’t want you guys to get hurt.

Just when you think you know a story… grace comes crashing in.

She went on to tell me about her daughter and grandchildren.  She even offered to watch my children should I reach the brink of madness home alone with five of them.

We laughed and talked; and finally she went on her way down the icy path.

I watched out the window until I couldn’t see her anymore.

I felt His love and protection, and at the same time I heard Him whisper,

You just never know…

And, we don’t.

We don’t know the whole of any story.

We know pieces and parts.  We form our opinions on shards of information… on slivers of truth.  

We form our opinions on sheets of ice only to find grace and humility melting them all away.

Sometimes we don’t know the white pillows of goodness that are hidden in a heart.

The woman who hoarded things we couldn’t understand, freely gave what a stranger needed.  You just never know.

You just never know what you’ll find on your front step… if you are willing to open the door…

and your heart.

 

Revelation 3:20

Here I am!  I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. 

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Filed Under: Brothers and Sisters, Community, Faith, Friendship, Good Deeds, Grace, Military, The Good Stuff, Together Tagged With: military, sharing burden, together, you never know

October 26, 2013 by Karin 2 Comments

Create Many Ripples

31 days of Good Deeds 31 Days of Good Deeds

(click here for the series)

~ Day 20 ~

  “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.”  ~ Mother Teresa

(if you are reading this in an email, click over to the blog to watch the 5 minute video)

Happy weekend, friends.

Hebrews 13:16

And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.

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Filed Under: Friendship, Perseverance, Together, Trust Tagged With: create ripples, obedience, sharing burden, together

October 4, 2013 by Karin Leave a Comment

How To Really Be Brave (one for the kids)

31 days of Good Deeds 31 Days of Good Deeds

~ Day 4 ~

I remember her face.  I even remember her name.

Katie.

I didn’t know anything about her, but I remember the way people treated her.

She appeared awkward and shy.  It was mostly the boys, but there were a few girls, too.  The ones who weren’t picking on her stood back and laughed.

I just watched.  I mean, what else could I do?

I was only in 7th grade.  It was a big school and we all know that junior high isn’t a confidence builder. It’s a tough age.  Those middle years.

Most of us just watched.

We watched while they poked and picked and laughed.  I knew Katie was in the slower classes, but I didn’t really know much about what that meant back in the early 1980’s.

I felt sorry for her.  I wished they would just leave her alone.

I see now.  Instead of leaving her alone… I wish someone would have not left her alone.  I wish someone would have stood next to her.  

I wish I would have been brave.  

I wish I had stood next to her.

This story is for kids like Katie.

I pray my kids will learn to stand.  Not watch.

stand together   Thank you, Joan, for sharing this beautiful story…

One summer day while doing some gardening in the front of my house, there were several children playing out in the street.  A little red hair, freckle-faced boy came along and wanted to join them.  Most of the kids started laughing at him and calling him names.  He started to cry, and I was going to go over and say something to the other kids, when I noticed one of the boys who was playing picked up the ball.  The red-headed boy sat on the curb and just cried.  The boy with the ball said something to the other boys and then walked over to the red-headed boy and sat down.  Since they were sitting on the curb right in front of my house, I could hear what they were saying.  This is what I heard…

The young boy with the ball put his arm around him and told the red-headed boy not to cry. But, the red-headed boy said, “They called me ugly and won’t play with me.”  The boy with the ball wiped the tears from the red-headed boy and said, “You’re not ugly. God doesn’t make anyone ugly.”  Then he hugged the red-headed boy and said, “I will always be your friend and we can play ball together.”  

I had tears in my eyes and went into my house and got each of them an ice pop.  I lived there for a long time, and watched those two boys grow up to be best friends.   Amazing.  That happened over 30 years ago and those boys, now men, are still friends with families of their own.

May we learn to defend the weak.

May we learn to stand.

God doesn’t make anyone ugly.

 

Psalm 82:3

Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.

 

(Day 1 is here)(Day 2 is here)(Day 3 is here)

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Filed Under: A Day in the Life, Community, Compassion, Friendship, Good Deeds, The Good Stuff, Together Tagged With: for the underdog, stand up

August 11, 2013 by Karin 12 Comments

When You Are Feeling Stripped and Alone

Stripped in Las Vegas.

Ok, not literally.  Stripping does not have to be literal to leave you feeling naked.

I’ve been in this place before, though it has been many years.  I can barely remember.

The memories are returning and I am surprised that I forgot how it felt back then.  Like a mama holding new life… slowly a window opens to scenes from moments gone by with babies before.  How do we forget?  The memories pour into the window like a rogue rainfall… streaming sideways, soaking the sill and everything in its path.

We forget… until, suddenly, we remember.

I remember feeling the loneliness that comes with the solitude of mothering children far from family… far from friends… far from anything, and everything, that feels like home.

new paths

It is different this time.  There are… more children.  The change is not in the numbers.

The change is in their awareness of the same loneliness mama felt years ago, when just mama was enough to fill their young hearts.  When just mama was enough to keep the days full, the tummies full, the hours full, the arms full.  When daddy’s evening arrival brought booming shrieks and wild, flailing arms.  Thankfully, that has not changed with the years.  Daddy’s arrival floods those young hearts with joy… maybe even more than back then.

It is different this time.  There are hearts feeling this stripping for the first time.  Much younger than this mama ever experienced it.

My oldest son… those blue eyes gazing out the window.  The sun blinding.  The rays blurred by the silent tears rolling down his smooth young, freckled cheeks.

My arm on his shoulder wishing I could keep the weight of all this from bearing down.

Are you ok?

Are you sad?

The blinking of tears, nodding.  His jaw clenching in hopes of tightening a heart to this new place.

If you could be anywhere, doing anything, where would you be?

The hard choking of words from the boy growing up just too fast.

Um, I dunno, I guess I’d be hanging out with my friends.

That feeling.  I know that feeling.

There are many things a mother can bear and hold… but this.

I know this one.  There is nothing a mama can do to get around this one.  This one, this time… I have to teach him how to go through it.  Teach him to square his shoulders, cry without shame, pick his head up, and find joy.

This joy that does not come from friends spilling in the front door at all hours.  This joy that does not come from endless summer days spent swinging on hammocks engrossed in conversations that only 11-year-old boys can truly appreciate.

Show him how to find the joy that comes from seeking.

This joy doesn’t come from the ease of childhood we long to give our kids.

This joy doesn’t come from the cushion of security that comes from the familiar.  It comes from the hard step onto the path of uncomfortable.  The rocky road filled with obstacles.

rocky path

I recently read an obituary of a woman who knew she was dying.  She had this to say…

…And may you always remember that obstacles in the path are not obstacles, they ARE the path.

(Jane Catherine Lotter)

The obstacles… they are the path.

Stripped of family.  Stripped of friends.  Stripped of familiar routines.  Stripped of the go-to-girlfriends.  Stripped of waves from familiar passing faces.  Stripped of the moments when a look between friends is more than enough.  Stripped of walking through children’s bedrooms at night, without needing one single light to guide the way.

Stripped of the paths that are worn and smooth.

We had comfort back there.  We had a place where the seeking was easily met with the busyness of schedules.  We had a place where we grew to rely on our friends.  We had  a place where we knew everything by heart.  We had a place we left pieces of ourselves.

We had support and a good life.  Maybe… maybe, we grew too comfortable… and maybe we forgot, just a little bit, to find our comfort in God.

The journey to this new place was filled with schedules and the go. go. go. of moving.

Here, now, the moving is done.  We find ourselves in this place of sitting still.  It is in the stillness that you can find yourself feeling stripped.  Feeling naked without the clothing of the security blanket.  Still and alone.

This time is different.  The times that ring in my memory remind me of what was missing back then.  The joy I could not find in the stillness all those years ago.  The One I didn’t even know was there.  Not floating up high, but right… there.

shine the Light

He is still right… here.  Here in the stillness.

I held my boy’s chin in my hands, wishing I could take the sorrow.  Knowing that this way is better.  My dear sister reminded me…

They have to learn this sometime.

The places will change.  The faces will change.

Our hearts will break.  Our tears will fall.

The loneliness will come.  The solitude will appear.

But, He is here.

Just waiting.

I held his chin,

I know this is hard.  It will get better.  I know this.

We need friends.  God will give us friends.

We have to stay with Him.  And trust Him.

He only has good plans for us.  For you.

His head nodded slowly.  Just to know we are not alone… sometimes that is all we need.

We are not alone.  You see, my kids asked Him for friends before we even left home.  This day, this day of tears spilling and a young heart touching sorrow and solitude… this day, one showed up.

She texted,

I’ll be there in 5 minutes to get him.

This new friend, with an 11-year-old son, saw the sadness she had seen in her own children’s eyes just a few years ago.

My son, all smiles when he saw the face of his new friend.  Hours later, he came bounding back into the house.  Joy.

sunset over friends

My tears came later.

My warrior, a helpless look in his eyes shadowed by guilt,

Are you ok?

There is so much a mother can bear, but it is the heartache of her children that renders the mother heart… wounded.

I am ok, it’s so much harder when it’s one of my babies.

He nodded understanding.

We moms, we sneak grief into a closet and drop tears into plush carpet.  Only One sees them.  Only One wipes them away.

How am I going to learn more?

Who is going to teach me?

Whom am I going to depend on?

Whom am I going to go to?

Pleading heart behind the we-are-gonna-get-through-this and there’s-a-reason-for-this-place facade that slowly began to crumble.

Then, the whisper…

I am.

His words whispered to this still heart,

You have Me.

Maybe sometimes we have to strip off the worn, comfy, rubbed-bare silk we have clothed ourselves with through people, tasks, schedules, well-intentioned missions… just to get back to… Him.

Him.

Stripped.  Wholly naked… to become Holy clothed.

 

Luke 5:16

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.

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Filed Under: A Day in the Life, Faith, Family, Friendship, Joy, Military, Motherhood, Trust Tagged With: alone and praying in a closet, stripped from the comfort zone

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Meet Karin

Hi! My name is Karin Madden. Writer. Warrior wife. Mom of six pack. Homeschooler. German-blooded southerner. Welcome to the place where I explore what it means to grow stronger - spirit, soul, and body. I write to inspire and encourage - to remind you we are not alone. By being bold with grace and speaking truth in love, we can become who we are meant to be. I'm glad you are here.

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