karin madden

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September 30, 2013 by Karin 6 Comments

When It’s That One Time That Matters

It’s time for the 31 Days series.  Every year in October The Nester hosts a link-up for writers and bloggers from all corners.  The topics are as varied as the writers.  This year I will write for 31 days about Good Deeds.  The story that prompted this topic is one that I will post on day 2.  Most days we are overcome by our chores, tasks, and to-dos.  These stories inspire me to look beyond myself at the world around us.  We could all use a hand sometimes.  Every good deed touches a heart in ways we may never see.

You can follow the series by clicking here to find all 31 days of posts.

Hebrews 10:24

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds 31 Days of Good Deeds

~Day 1 ~

I could almost hear a voice.  It was really just a thought that pierced my daydream.  It was the kind of thought that really doesn’t make any sense, so you are pretty sure it didn’t come from you.  The thought rang again,

Take the $20 from the bathroom counter and put it in your pocket.

I puzzled over the request and shrugged.  My thoughts replied,

Ok, I’ll do it.  If I can remember.

I dressed and got ready for the very important outing to Costco.  Supplies were running low.  Detergents, diapers, breakfast sausages that my 11-year-old can prepare all by himself.  The sausages are crucial because they buy me just a little bit more sleep.  I love sleep.  I grabbed the keys, kissed my warrior, and snuck out the back door.  Alerting the six pack to my departure would only bring tears and clamoring to come along.  Any mama knows that special “me time” at the store cannot be interrupted by tag-a-longs.  I stealthily climbed into the truck and sped off (at a screeching 15 mph).

The journey through the store could bring many valuable truths to light.  Pushing that oversized cart through the crowded aisles on a Saturday opened my eyes to one thing.  I wasn’t really there.  I was certainly there in body, squeezing between carts and past temper tantrums, but my mind was somewhere else.

Is this how we cruise through life?  Half in the space where our feet are planted and half somewhere else?  My mind drifted to what the kitchen would look like at dinnertime, to what the kids might remember they wanted to add to the list before I left, to what we might do on the weekend.  My mind drifted to friends back home, to the list of to-do’s that were undone, to just about anything and everything except for the cart… and the people in front of me.  It seems the more people are around, the less we look at them.  City living can bring us to close our minds, our doors, and our hearts just a bit more than country living.  The more faces we are surrounded by, the less we want to be bothered.  Maybe it’s all just too overwhelming and we find a safer, quieter place behind the shut door.

Finding myself in the back row of the swarmed parking lot, I remembered,

The $20!  Sure enough, I forgot.

I whispered under my breath to the One I knew was listening.  He is surely accustomed to my forgetful nature.  I like to blame it on the kids.

Ok, I’ve got something.

I dug into my purse and retrieved the only $4 I could find.  I shoved them into my pocket.

I’m not sure where You are going with this, and I’m sorry I forgot.

I heard You and then got distracted.  I hope this will do.

I checked out my small fortune of groceries and struck up a conversation with the cashier.  If I were the cashier I might like to talk to the sea of faces passing me by with crates of supplies.

She was a nice lady and told me that she had lived here for over 30 years.  She really wanted to go somewhere else, where the trees would tower and the water would glisten.  She was a little nervous about the change of climate.  The humidity anywhere else might be just too much, but she really wanted to go.  Sometime. 

Thirty years is a mighty long time to wish you could go somewhere else.  I wonder if our hesitation to try something new always stems from our resistance to the uncomfortable?  I wonder what else our comfort might be keeping from us?

Helping Hand

The cart swerved and wobbled its way to the truck as I scrambled for the keys.  I pried open the tailgate and began to unload the goods.  It was only about one minute.  One minute passed before I looked up and saw her.

She appeared old.  I doubt that she was as old as she looked.  Her face reminded me of a face I had seen years before.  She reminded me of a meth addict I had treated in a hospital here over a decade ago.  The woman back then had a stroke.  Just one of the many horrors addictions can bring.  It can age you, too.  The kind of aging that rips and robs any glow from the skin and light from the eyes.

I looked at the woman in front of me and really saw her.  My mind zoomed to the sight before me.  She was dressed in flannel and jeans.  The clothing was no match for the 98-degree temperature, even though the feel of dry heat does not match its number.  Her hair was a gray mat of strands running halfway down her back.  The blue-gray eyes appeared dusty and sunken in her loose skin.  She mustered any amount of dignity she could gather and spoke.  The one tooth remaining in the front of her mouth pointed like any accusing finger at all the wrongs and neglect that left it alone to hold a crooked,  forced smile.

I wonder if you could help me.  I need money for a bus.

I knew there were no buses cruising this side of town, and there were certainly no buses in the parking lot of city suburbia waiting to pick up disheveled and desperate souls.  I had been expecting her.

I replied as I dug in my pocket,

I do have something.

She seemed almost stunned at my response.  It didn’t appear she got too many responses to this same question I am sure she had asked countless times.

Oh.

She whispered as her eyes met mine.

I handed her the four crumpled dollars.

I’m sorry it’s not more.  I was expecting you today.

Her smile curled slightly as her eyes flickered.  Maybe she was not accustomed to conversation, or maybe the thought of someone expecting her presence caught her off guard.

I continued,

I kind of knew I would meet you today.  Good luck to you.

She nodded and disappeared into the sea of cars.

Why in the world did I say ‘good luck’?

My hand went to my forehead to thump some sense into it.  It was pretty obvious that ‘good luck’ had not gotten this lost soul very far.  What I really wanted to say was,

God bless you.  Do you have anywhere to go?  

I didn’t say any of those things.  Just, “good luck.”

I climbed into the comfort of my big red truck and stared out the window.  How many handfuls of dollar bills would it take to get this desperate woman to the place she was longing to go?  Where in the world could a bus take her to find the answers?  She didn’t need a bus ticket.  She didn’t need ‘good luck.’  The lost soul with the sunken eyes and the wry smile needed something much more.  She needed a hand.

I was glad she had interrupted me.  I was frustrated I had ignored the Voice that prompted me to pocket the $20 on my bathroom counter.  I remembered the voice of my friend’s dad,

Nine times out of ten, the person asking for money is probably going to use it for no good. 

Nine times out of ten it won’t take them very far. 

It’s that one time… that one time, that will make all the difference in someone’s life.

The difference one time can make.  It matters.  It may matter to one life out of ten, but that is one whole life.

Just like mine.  Just like yours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I would love to hear your stories.  Do you have a good deed to share?  A story about you or someone you know?  

If you would like to share your story, you can email me at sunrisewithasixpack (at) gmail (dot) com.  I’d love to post your words (and you can remain anonymous) here for others to read and be encouraged.  Bad news gets all the headlines ~ let’s spur each other on in love and good deeds…

Karin signature

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: A Day in the Life, Hope, Joy, Love, Uncategorized Tagged With: 31 days of good deeds, that one time

September 25, 2013 by Karin 2 Comments

Why We Should Tell It Like It Is

It’s hard to find your voice, isn’t it?

There are so many thoughts spiraling through our minds, but putting them into words isn’t so easy.

Most of the time, my most profound, eloquent statements come out a little bit like…

uh. hey.

We trip over words. We trip over opinions. We trip over I-don’t-want-to-offend-but-that-is-just-all-wrong. Or maybe, I am… all wrong.  We trip, stumble, falter, and flail. The best of our intentions can step right out in front of a bus… and become road kill.

It’s hard to find your voice. You know, the voice you are really supposed to have. The one that is buried beneath proper decorum, benign pleasantries, and vacuous blather. I don’t mean small talk. I don’t mean pleasant conversation.

I mean… the stuff we really mean. The words we battle between our mental gymnastics and our vocal release. Lack of tact and crass ramblings are not the answer.

It is hard to find your voice.  It is hard to be honest.

Not the don’t-tell-a-lie kind of honest.

The honest that reaches into the depths of our souls. The words that murmur in our spirits and long to be released. Not hurtful, rage-filled spatter. But, instead, words stirred in us by the Spirit that drives us.

I wonder why it is so hard to tell the whole truth.  I wonder why we can’t own up to all the painful insecurities and just call them out on the carpet. We could then take that carpet and pound the dusty mess right out. Until the flittering specks of our dusty insecurities vanish into a forgotten mist.

Desert Storm

We could just say,

I compare myself to you and it makes me feel like less.

I think I have it figured out, then I slip; and I just want to quit.

I want to be a good mom and wife, but I am worn out.

I feel like so much depends on me, and I just fall short.

I am plain old sick of my own voice.

Kids have it all figured out. They say just exactly what they mean. They mean just exactly what they say… until we tell them not to.

It’s just not polite. Don’t say that.

Oh, hush, don’t let them hear you.

But… it’s the truth.

Mom meltdowns sometimes bring a beautiful truth to light. Sometimes it gives these little ones a chance to step up and voice life-giving words,

You are a great mom.

Everyone gets tired and stressed out.

Mom, you’re the best.

I wonder why we can just get it right?

Glimpse of Light

I know, it’s that whole fallen world thing.  It is, you know.  Fallen.

Why don’t we just step up from the dust with our God-given hearts and speak truth, love, and honesty into the souls we pass. We are all suffering. In one way or another. We pull that heavy old worn security blanket over our heads and stifle the life-giving words of truth.

The Storm Out Back

Sometimes, we should just tell it like it is.  With kindness. With grace. With these sincerely broken souls that have been given the most sincerely priceless gift.

The gift of words. The gift of the Word. The life-giving, soul-healing, love-drenching gift.

Words.

Maybe we should take a cue from these little ones who speak truth without a thought to lie.  We could stop covering the screens with illusions of I’ve-got-it-all-together.

We could whisper,

Me too.

My little baby blue-eyed boy climbed into my lap.  It was bedtime and mama was well past any patience that could be mustered.

I need you to go to bed.

He ignored my frazzled words.  Clinging to my neck, face nuzzling in tighter, his words…

Mom, it’s all about the love.

It’s just all about the love.

How is it that they just get it?

Nuzzle In

I smiled and squeezed.

A delay tactic, maybe.  The truth, definitely.

It is all about the love.

Simple words.

For the Love

Maybe we don’t need to dress up our big adult words. We could just remember to say the simplest of things.

You are not alone.

I know it’s hard for you.

I will pray for you (and do it).

Remember who you are.

I think you’re a really cool person.

I love you.

We are in this together.

God loves you. Yes, even when you don’t.

It’s all about the love.

Maybe I should just forget about finding the right voice. Stop talking… and listen to my boy.

It’s all about the love.

 

Philemon 1:6-7

I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ. Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints. 

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Filed Under: A Day in the Life, Faith, Grace, Love, Motherhood, The Good Stuff Tagged With: finding your voice, tell it like it is

September 11, 2013 by Karin 2 Comments

One Thing to Remember

Remember…

Remember the Truth

9/11/01

We will remember.  Today, tomorrow… forever.

We will fight the good fight.

God bless America.

 

Deuteronomy 31:6

Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

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Filed Under: Faith, God's Promises, Perseverance Tagged With: God bless America, God's promises, remember our heroes, the good fight

August 30, 2013 by Karin 4 Comments

When You Want to be Brave

I suppose I can be tough.  Tough in the sense that I can bear the weight of a military marriage and the weight of mama-hood.

Tough seems like a rugged, almost steely term.  Makes me sound like I am a pioneer woman or something.

I actually did refer to myself as a pioneer woman the day I came home from the hospital with my 6th baby and my husband returned to work the following morning to prepare his squadron for the impending deployment 2 weeks later.

Impending sounds a bit like doom.  It felt like a bit like doom as my brood of 5 little ones ran around me while I sat very, very still in my chair holding my newborn.  I felt like a pioneer woman, sent back into the fields.  Tough sounds pretty rugged.  Strong might be a better word.  The truth is, if I have any strength, it comes straight from Him.  It’s not my own.

helmet mom

Tough, perhaps.  Strong, maybe.  But, brave?  Now, that I am… not.

I am not a risk taker.  Not really.

You know, the kinds of risks that brave people take, like jumping out of airplanes, flying fighters, hiking to the top of Everest, or scuba diving to murky depths. Or roller coasters.  I am actually kind of a wimp in those terms.

fighters

If you define brave as someone who vomits endlessly during pregnancy and then decides it might be a good idea to try that again… and again… six times, then I am brave.

But, not really.  I am just a tad bit like Nemo’s dad as I recall the wisdom of bugged-eyed Dory…

I promised I’d never let anything happen to him… (Marlin)

Hmm, that’ s funny thing to promise. (Dory)

What? (Marlin)

Well you can’t never let anything happen to him.  Then nothing would ever happen to him.  Not much fun for little Harpo. (Dory)

You know, when a part of you is driven by fear… or worry.

This is not the best way to live in freedom.  Fear is just all wrong.  But, it is mighty difficult to escape.

Until you are forced out of your big, comfy chair… or house… or life.

boom

Fighting fear, worry, and uncertainty, I keep asking Him for the answer.  Then, a thought…

Be spontaneous.

Spontaneity is more difficult than it seems when you are loading a car full of kids, cups, diapers, and all things pertaining to road trip survival.

I don’t mean the kind of knee-jerk reaction that is foolish or inconsiderate of others.

I mean that whisper of an idea, the fleeting thought that makes a u-turn and tickles your thoughts again.

I mean the dreams that nudge, the hopes that tug, but you brush them aside and think…

nah, maybe later.

Not now.

That couldn’t possibly work.  Could it?

Living is something I have wanted to do with my family for quite some time now.  Living.  Not surviving.

We all go through the survival stage with growing babies, but living has been placed in the closet on the top shelf.  Just behind the box of fear and worry.

It’s time to rip off the band aid.

It’s time to open the top of the box and let it all go.

unpack the box

Unwrapping that carefully packaged box, I am finding treasures that had been foolishly stored away.

Treasures slowly unfolding from the dusty wrappings.

Moving from the comfortable, the regular, the staid and worn spot is showing me something…

Leaving the comfort can be lonely, but it can make you brave.

Letting go of the regular can breathe new life where you thought fresh air had been suffocated.

Moving from the worn place can open your ears to the still, small Voice.

This new place.  I don’t know where it will take me.  I don’t know what it holds for my family.  I don’t know what adventures lie before us.

I do know that I hear Him.  He whispers in the stillness.

The gentle tug I had grown accustomed to dismissing, to reasoning away, to (forgive me) ignoring has become more of a shove.

be courageous

A shove to be bold.  Brave.

Wonder where it will take us?

Have you felt that shove?  Do you want to be brave?

I do.

Now that I have etched it in ink… I guess I’ll have to.

Where do you need a boost of brave?

We can hold each other to it…

 

Joshua 1:9

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

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Filed Under: A Day in the Life, Perseverance, The Good Stuff Tagged With: be spontaneous, wanna be brave?

August 15, 2013 by Karin 4 Comments

Just When You Think They Don’t Hear You

It’s that time of day again.

You know, the time when mamas with young ones brace themselves.

It’s bedtime.  It’s this day that we have to go there.  It’s bath day.

Ok, yes, you caught me.  We don’t bathe every day… or every other…

There is no humidity here.  How dirty could they really be?  

But, it’s time.

I laugh to myself remembering the words of my dear old friend.  She voiced the complaints of our 7th child.  Actually our hearts have more than that even… 7, 8, yes… even more than that.  You know how it is when your love grows to that unexpected place of loving your friends’ children like your very own…

She chuckled over the phone,

He said that the Maddens only bathe once a week!

I told him that if we had 6 kids, we would be lucky to bathe that often.

I laughed aloud, knowing that the hustle and bustle in our home looks like madness to the naked eye.  Only occasionally does a little one run through the house with high-pitched joy…

Naaaaaked!

The tush disappearing around the corner.

It’s only madness… sometimes.  Usually on bath night.  (And, it is more often than one time a week… but it’s a good story for 11-year-old boys.  Almost, bragging rights).

Tonight, is the night.  And mama is solo.  Bracing for impact.

The blur, the suds, the squealing, the shrieking, the it’s-my-towel, the filth running down drains, the smacking of towels intermingled giggles and wails.

Step two of my favorite time of day… brushing of teeth and brushing of wet, tangled, matted hair.

More squealing, shrieking… more myyyyyy-tooos-brush from an exhausted toddler.

More. More. More.

Usually the joy of bath time is followed by prayers with mama and ninja-fast lullabies and blanket tucking.

Not tonight.

When is the last time I stopped to read you a story?

I thought to myself as I quickly gathered a disaster pile from the path I would tread in darkness to kiss sleeping heads.

It’s been too long.

I grabbed an old favorite.  The Giving Tree.  That story… that story could cover novels on what it means to be a mother.  That book about giving and giving until there is nothing left to give… except for the last bit of yourself.  The stump of you that is left.  And you give it away.  And you give it away.  Because nothing makes you happier than giving every last ounce to the little ones who have no idea.  Not yet.

mama and baby

To them.  It’s a story about a tree.  And a boy.  That is ok for now.  That is all it really needs to be for now.  Just giving.  And loving.  

They will understand later.  The giving and the loving.

Silence.  Every little face riveted by Shel Silverstein’s words.

Every face… except for my oldest boy.  My first-born.  The one I bought this book for when he was 6-years-old.

baby boy 2

He was quite riveted by something else entirely.  His iPod.

When did that happen?

How did I miss that?

The young faces, melting into the warmth of sleepiness…

Please mama, one more.

Who can say no to that?

Ok, I’ll pick one more.

Another favorite.  Guess How Much I Love You.  I think we would go clear past that big old moon for these little ones.  Clear to the moon and right past it into the space of something much more uncertain.  A place just a little scarier… and more exhilarating… motherhood.

That place we think we can figure our because we have read books… because we have younger siblings and watched our own moms do it… because we started babysitting at age 11.  That place we think we can figure out because we think we know love.  But, we have no idea.  Until we are there.  And then, we have no idea where it will take us.  I’ll take this over any ride into space.  This place that puts us in the most uncomfortable space.  The space of you. before. me.

growing boy

I read the words of Big Nut Brown Hare and his Little Nut Brown Hare.

I get you.

I thought of that big old rabbit tucking his baby into a pile of leaves.

I get you.

Finding myself flanked by two with two on my lap.  Baby sleeping.  Big brother… tuned into his own space.  Somewhere else in his thoughts.  Ear buds tuning out the sound of familiar mama cadence as I read the words.

When did this happen?

My hand patting bottoms to bed.  Night time kisses.  Hugs.  Whispered I-love-you’s.

You didn’t listen.

I whispered to my boy.  This unknown space of growing up.  When do we ever really prepare for this?

Mama, I’m sorry.

He smiled sheepishly.

I know those stories.  I’ve heard them so many times.

Remember?

I smiled and kissed his soft hair.

I know. I know.

Good night boys.

I love you.

Light switched dimmed the room to a memory.

A whisper…

Mama, I love you to moon and back.

That space.  That space between a mama and her growing boy.  In an instant… it filled.  Love.

to the moon and back

Just when you think they don’t hear you… just when you think they aren’t listening.  Just when you think the space is growing too big, too far… just when you think they have forgotten.  Just when you think that they might understand the giving… and the loving… sometime later.

They surprise you… and fill the space between.

 

John 17:24

Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.

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Filed Under: A Day in the Life, Family, Love, Motherhood, The Good Stuff Tagged With: the space between mama and son, they hear you

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Meet Karin

Hi! My name is Karin Madden. Writer. Warrior wife. Mom of six pack. Homeschooler. German-blooded southerner. Welcome to the place where I explore what it means to grow stronger - spirit, soul, and body. I write to inspire and encourage - to remind you we are not alone. By being bold with grace and speaking truth in love, we can become who we are meant to be. I'm glad you are here.

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