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October 18, 2013 by Karin 2 Comments

What We Can Learn From One of Those

31 Days of Good Deeds 31 Days of Good Deeds

(click here for the series)

~ Day 16 ~

We all know those kinds.

The ones we greet with polite smiles while our minds reel,

Not you again.

We wish we wouldn’t react this way, but these types are, well, beyond annoying.

We grow up, learn a few manners, and cover our irritation with veiled smiles and rapid excuses.

Right now isn’t a good time.  Maybe later?

Oh, I have to run. So sorry.

We want to be kind, we want to be neighborly, but that one… that one… drives us crazy.

We’ve all had one of those.  Maybe, we have been one of those.

This is a story about one of those.  The ones we judge by past history or history that has been passed by word of mouth (nah, not gossip).  No one is above this feeling.  It’s really how we react… how we change our perspective… that changes our heart.  Sometimes, one of those people has a heart we could learn something from.

An arm of love

Thank you, Joan, for sharing your story and your perspective. (You can find Joan’s blog here).

Ralph Snider’s loud, overbearing manner irritated some people. He monopolized conversations, and exaggerated his slow Texas twang, leaving some to think of him as a backwoods country bumpkin.

Yes—he was loud, talked (a lot), and had a lazy drawl. However, he was well-educated and intelligent. He served as a substitute teacher on several occasions when I was in Junior High. He knew a good deal about local history and was an interesting conversationalist.

He grew up in a time when neighbors visited neighbors unannounced, but nevertheless were welcomed.

Times changed. Lives got busier. People stopped visiting without an invitation. Our small town grew. More people moved to the area, and Mr. Snider’s pop-in visits were often unwelcomed.  Many voiced their frustrations over his continuing to drop by unannounced.

I finished school, married, and entered the work force. I learned to avoid him—especially when in a hurry.  I don’t have time for this. Plus, he might begin making unexpected visits to our house. That’s the last thing we need after a long day at work.

One day, a friend told me a story about him—one much different from ones the others often relayed. A local church held a luncheon and invited members of the community. Mr. Snider attended. Of course, he would never pass up an opportunity to visit and talk with others.

Danny, a middle-aged mentally challenged man, was present. He came from a poor family that didn’t have a good reputation. Some of his relatives had served time in jail for vandalism and theft.  Most people knew Danny was harmless, but many avoided him.

Mr. Snider had already taken a seat when Danny went through the serving line. After receiving his meal, Danny turned to find a table. He bumped against something and spilled the entire plate of food on the floor. Upset and embarrassed, he began to cry.  

Without hesitation, Mr. Snider jumped up, went over to Danny, and cleaned the food from the floor. He helped Danny find a table, and brought him a fresh meal.

Mr. Snider didn’t wait for a janitor to clean up the mess. He didn’t turn a blind eye and ignore the situation. He didn’t hesitate to leave his own plate of hot food, which was cold by the time he returned to his chair. He performed a simple act of kindness from the goodness of his heart.

I think we could all learn something from Mr. Snider.  

We are given these human suitcases to carry us around on this earth.  Some of our suitcases may not be most appealing at first, or second, glance.  It’s when we unzip the weathered cases that we find what’s really inside.  The inside may just be the treasure we’ve been avoiding.

God must smile at our surprise.

 

Hebrews 4:12-13

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

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Filed Under: Community, Compassion, Good Deeds, The Good Stuff, Together Tagged With: one of those, our human suitcases

October 17, 2013 by Karin Leave a Comment

The Good Seed

31 Days of Good Deeds 31 Days of Good Deeds

(click here for the series)

~ Day 15 ~

Sometimes it isn’t until they are gone.

It isn’t until they are gone that we realize how they changed everything.

Most of the time we didn’t even realize we needed to change something… or we didn’t really want to.

It isn’t until we look back on what was, that we realize what is.  The turning point in our lives.

the good seed

It isn’t until we can see pieces of life in the rearview mirror that we can see how our pieces have come together.

It isn’t until we look back that we can look Up and see the truth.

The lives we live like this woven tapestry.  Threaded piece by piece… never having seen the bold thread of this person that held it all together.  Until we could grow stronger.

My dear friend, missing her uncle, remembers him…

Twenty-two years ago a couple took in a troubled 18-year-old girl. They had a lot going on in their own lives; two daughters in college and high school senior still at home. The husband worked crazy shift work that eliminated any type of normal sleep and life of his own. The woman was a school bus driver at the time. She volunteered at church and played taxi to her daughter’s activities and ran all over the state trying to make the college sporting and extra curricular events.
 
Their niece was “lost”. Running nowhere, but constantly running. Circumstances led her to their home – it had always been a safe place – a place where the door was always unlocked. It was often left wide open; an indication of the busy lifestyle where love provoked the revolving door to remain more open than closed. 
 
There was only liability in inviting her in. Her lifestyle was far from theirs – they knew it and opened the door and their arms. They opened themselves up to the questions and judgement from others. Why? “She should learn on her own… she’s gotten herself into this after all!”  
There were no lectures or shame here. Everyday there was support, encouragement, company, and love for the girl. She continued in her life choices, but now felt a twinge of wanting what they had… a simple, steady, not so exciting, but full life. The love of Christ permeated their home and their actions – they actually believed in her and began a flicker of belief in herself.
 
Their kindness gave her hope. It slowly turned to motivation and value; and one day she left. She had been given wings – much like the cousins who had gone before. She didn’t necessarily go on to do great things in the eyes of the world… but ever since, she has been flying and often flies back to the home with the revolving door. 
 
The couple has recently separated in body. The husband flew home to His Lord. His memorial celebration was filled with stories like hers – and now a question. Will the good deed live on? Can she do this, too? Can her door offer a welcome, safety, and the simple glimmer of hope? She is realizing this was an act of bravery on their part… there were no guarantees with the chance they took on her. A good deed is risky – there may not be a good turnout. But then that wasn’t their job, was it? A good deed is simply a good “seed” and all they did was sow it. 

The good deed.  Sometimes it is the good seed… sown in faith.

The voice that whispers,

My door is open.

You are welcome here.

 

Matthew 7:7-8

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

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Filed Under: Faith, Family, Good Deeds, Grace, Hope, Love, Together Tagged With: open door, the good seed, the good stuff

October 16, 2013 by Karin 2 Comments

The Best In Others

31 Days of Good Deeds 31 Days of Good Deeds

(click here for the series)

~ Day 14 ~

The homecoming is the best part.

I have a new friend down the street.

She is a new mom, in a new house, in a new town, with a deployed husband.

It doesn’t take long to connect with someone who is in the shoes you have worn to paper-thin soles.  It doesn’t take long to remember that feeling of staying behind to hold it all together.  It doesn’t take long for the visions of leaking washers, broken alarms, dead car batteries, sick children, temperamental refrigerators, and sleepless nights to resurface.

It doesn’t take long to commiserate in the truth… everything breaks when they are gone. 

Deployments begin with a spiteful appliance whispering,

Yea, I’m broken.  Thought I’d let you know… now.

Always when they are gone.

My friend with this cherub of a brown-eyed baby boy has reached the end of the parenting alone, the fixing alone, the worrying alone, and the doing alone.  Her wait is over. 

Homecoming is the very best part.

  Comfort at the door

She shared a story with me.  A good deed at a desperate time.

We left our two cars on base here.  I was heading home to stay with my parents and we needed to leave the cars in a safe place.  When I returned to town and moved into our new house, our friend went to base and returned my car to me.  He brought it right to my house.  

Here’s the best part…

He went to base to start our other car so he could bring it to our house before my husband gets home.  When he got there, the car wouldn’t start.  He had the car towed to his own house.  After checking out the whole car, he bought and replaced the battery.  He kept the car for a few more days and drove it just to make sure it was running well.

Then, he washed it and cleaned it and brought it right to my door.  My husband was touched and thankful that someone had taken care of his family while he was gone.

These deployments bring broken appliances, dead batteries, and too many unwelcome surprises.

These deployments… bring out the very best in others.

These deployments bring us to the deepest of gratitude for those who go out of their way… to bring comfort right to our front door.

James 3:13

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.

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Filed Under: A Day in the Life, Community, Good Deeds, Military, The Good Stuff, Together Tagged With: broken stuff, deployments

October 15, 2013 by Karin Leave a Comment

This Is How It Starts

31 Days of Good Deeds 31 Days of Good Deeds

(click here for the series)

~ Day 13 ~

I remember that morning.

It was one of those mornings when alarms were ignored, breakfasts inhaled, shoes lost, shirts smudged, belts forgotten, children whined, and mama barked.  All the while the hand on the clock decided to skip ahead 5 minutes for every passing second.  We were late, the kids were frazzled, and I was done.  Four down.

I remember strapping two squirmy little ones into car seats and peeling out of the parking lot.  Can’t be late for coffee and Bible study at your own house, you know.  Nice.

My attitude had taken over that particular morning, but I was smart enough to know that donuts would be an easy fix for the whiny ones in the back.  In fact, I might have one… or two myself.  In fact, I might get enough for everyone to share.  I wasn’t going down this sugar road alone.

I sat in line at the Dunkin Donuts drive through (this donut thing, it’s just way too easy).  My breathing slowed and I finally relaxed enough to tickle kicking feet behind me.

That’s when I felt it.  Or heard it.  I’m not sure.  But, I knew what the message was,

Pay for the car behind you.

I mulled over the thought and replied,

Yea, I’m not sure if I have enough cash on me.

The Voice whispered again,

Pay for them.

The enemy had pretty much taken center stage this morning, and I had too easily given in to the worst parts of myself.

Only one way to turn this day around, and I knew the whispering Voice was the answer.  He always is.

I smiled to myself and flipped off bad guy.

Screw you, devil.

I muttered those words as I pulled out some extra money.  I paid for the car behind us and drove away.  A Boston creme donut and a kick in the tail to my selfishness.  Things were turning around that morning.

I shared my morning story with a girlfriend a little while later.  She replied with a grin,

We just drove through that drive through and the lady at the window told me people had been paying for each other for about an hour now.

And, that’s how it starts.  I’ve heard these stories again and again.  Every time they make me smile.

Then, I realized the best part.

A few girlfriends have shared their own stories about drive through kindness.  Anna remembers,

I was in the drive thru with my son very early on a cold, December morning on the way to his basketball game. As we got to the window, the barista told me that the car in front of us had paid for ours and told us ‘Merry Christmas!’ My son and I were shocked and thought that was awesome, so we happily paid for the 2 cars behind us, adding in ‘Merry Christmas’ too. My son talked about it for months. He was so proud that we paid it forward then and we do it today, every now and then. It was a great lesson for my son and today, I can still see the look on his face when we were told by the drive thru barista. Priceless.

And Ashley,

We have been through the drive thru at McDonald’s and had the people in front of us pay for our order. We then paid for the people behind us. 

The best part… their kids were watching.  They watched a good deed in action.

the next generation

They watch everything we do.  It’s when we share a good deed, when we pay it forward… it’s then that we pay it into an entire new generation.

And, that’s how it starts. 

Priceless.

 

Psalm 71:18

Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come. 

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Filed Under: A Day in the Life, Community, Good Deeds, The Good Stuff Tagged With: how it starts, the next generation

October 14, 2013 by Karin Leave a Comment

It All Counts Here

31 Days of Good Deeds 31 Days of Good Deeds

(click here for the series)

~ Day 12 ~

We think we have it all figured out the day they are born. Well at least some of it.

We think we know the decisions we will make and the direction we will go.

We are pretty sure the best and wisest choices will be crystal clear when the time comes.

Then, we realize… we gave birth to humans.

Not so simple anymore.

This quest for good deeds…

I joked with my husband as I headed out the door with the oldest two.  He had come home early from work. Mission… orthodontist.

Look, it’s your good deed.  You are staying here with the others.

He laughed,

Yea, that’s called parenting.  It doesn’t qualify as a good deed.

Or does it?

My oldest girl snuck quietly into the bedroom, plate in hand. She whispered,

Mom, I wanted to bring you breakfast in bed.

The sparkling silver covering revealed the most divine piece of toast I had ever seen.  And, coffee, too. Perfect.

breakfast in bed

She grinned at my reaction,

It’s no big deal, mom. 

Or is it?

Hands scrubbing sud-covered pots tonight… for the 776th time.  Solo mama bone weary from chasing a napless toddler while trying to de-clutter the one place my warrior can study in some sort of peace.  My big boy wraps arms around my waist (when did he get so tall?),

You are the best, mom.

Kind words.  No biggie.

Or are they?

Searching for these good deeds in all corners.  A girlfriend sends me a message,

I cleaned my daughter’s hamster cage today. She will be so happy and I’m hoping it is a real lesson in grace. Does that count?

Does it count?

Lessons in grace.

I put sleepy, baby blue-eyed girl to bed, and whispered into her sweet thumb-sucking gaze,

I’ve tried to make all the right choices for you babies. I hope that counts.

Baby grinned.  Peace enveloped.  Grace to erase the stress of this day.

The good deed of grace… that starts right at home.

Home… the most challenging place to plant a good deed on many days.

Home… the most necessary place to give and seek good deeds every day.

The place that comes first in the lifting of this world.  Home.

It all counts here.

 

Galatians 6:9-11

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

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Filed Under: A Day in the Life, Family, Good Deeds, Grace, Motherhood, The Good Stuff Tagged With: grace at home, it all counts

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Meet Karin

Hi! My name is Karin Madden. Writer. Warrior wife. Mom of six pack. Homeschooler. German-blooded southerner. Welcome to the place where I explore what it means to grow stronger - spirit, soul, and body. I write to inspire and encourage - to remind you we are not alone. By being bold with grace and speaking truth in love, we can become who we are meant to be. I'm glad you are here.

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