You know the feeling that you get when you think that you are going in the right direction?
That feeling that everything is falling into place and there can be no doubt that you are moving forward.
Everything is moving along beautifully. Then. It. Stops.
What happened?
I was so sure…
Is this not the way?
This comes in motherhood, marriage, friendship, relationships, callings, and especially in… faith.
I thought I had it figured out…
at least I thought I was on the way to figuring it out.
Not so much. A big fat, red STOP SIGN. There it is. You are at a stand-still and you don’t know which way to go…
Am I moving in the right direction?
Did I mess up?
I just don’t get it…
When this happens… it’s frustrating and confusing… just when you think you can fit God and His plans into a neat, tidy package. Sigh.
Once upon a time… I would have ignored the thoughts, the promptings… I would have carried on under my own will, my own ideas. I can do this.
One step closer. This time… I drop to my knees… and pray. Hard. The kind of prayer that sounds like a sniffling, weepy, incoherent child.
I don’t get it!
Where did I mess up?
Please show me.
You know what? He does ~ He shows me. Again. Every time. In His time. But, He always listens and He always gives wisdom… when we mean it. When we really want it ~ no matter the cost to our fragile egos.
The flailing soul in the quick sand learns to… hold still. Pray.
The quick sand stops its hungry pull downward… when we just stop fighting it. He is right there. Waiting for us to… hold still.
It’s on my knees, in utter silence (which is pretty difficult to come by around here)… it’s here, that He answers.
The funny thing, the way He always blows my mind… He answers in a way that is the direct opposite of what I expected. And this direct opposite way is the perfect answer to my prayers. Amazing. Every time.
I read something this morning…
Discouragement is disenchanted self-love, and self-love may be love of my devotion to Jesus.
~ Oswald Chambers
Oh, to think that my love for Christ would be over-shadowed by my love for my own devotion to Him… not His love for me. His will, not mine.
These earnest prayers, like a babbling child… they are the ones He answers. A disciplining by the Father to His child… keep it real. Allowing the Spirit to keep me in check.
That I would become clay, softened in the hands of the Potter.
James 1:4-5
Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
