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May 2, 2012 by Karin Leave a Comment

imperfect moms… in a blender

Just when you get tired of pretending that you are the “perfect” mom…
Just when you are about to fall from the “I’ve got it all together – pretty much” cliff…
Just when you think you are the only one who is on the verge of shattering all over your newly mopped floor…

Just then, you find another someone… another some-mom… who chooses you to share her “I’m a crazy mom” story.  A friend who sees in your eyes… just a glimpse of “mommy madness” ~ a kindred mother heart ~ and she shares her less-than-glorious mother moment (sigh of relief).

I dropped the (fill-in-the-blank foul word) bomb (yes, even Christian moms do it)

I screamed (ditto)… I mean, I screamed – a lot – until my throat hurt (ditto)… I think I may have foamed at the mouth (ditto)

I acted crazy (or I am crazy?) – (motherhood, perhaps, is the onset?)

I laugh, partly out of understanding… mostly, out of sheer release.  I am not alone.  We moms, so
many of us, are so much alike.  Our differences mix in the blender of motherhood.  We enter with our various personalities (type A’s, type B’s, and any combination thereof)… our histories (good, bad, and any combination thereof)… our personal goals (mom goals, wife goals, career goals, woman goals, and any combination thereof)… hit blend… on high speed.  Then push… stop.  The outcome ~ a mush of imperfect mom.

 

Imperfect mom… perfectly relieved to have a community of other imperfect moms

Haven’t we all thought… I bet no one else acts like this… at least not anyone I know?

I have jokingly shared that my favorite place is my laundry room.  (Not joking).  My kids are generally uninterested in that room, the churn of the washer and rumble of the dryer are usually quieter than my sweet little ones, it smells good (for the most part), and it’s a nice place to bang your head… against something that gives a little (the side of the washer – while I’m kneeling down… crumbling under the weight of being mom).

Great relief.  There are more out there… just like me.  I am not an alien mom, after all.

God gives us community for a reason… to share the good, the bad, and the head banging (and any combination thereof).  Next time, while I’m sharing my woes with my washing machine… while I am kneeling in the solitude of my laundry room… I will thank Him.  Thank Him for my community of moms… especially for those of us who are brave enough to be transparent.  I’ll pray for more opportunities ~ to be transparent right back… a chance to encourage the next mom.  You are not alone, either.  Sigh of relief.

Philippians 4:13-14

I can do everything through him who gives me strength.  Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles.

Filed Under: Friendship, Motherhood

April 26, 2012 by Karin Leave a Comment

The birthday gift

Today is my baby girl’s 9th birthday.

It is so cliche’ to say “I can’t believe she’s 9…,” but… I really can’t believe she’s 9.

I look at her beautiful face and still see glimpses of the tiny baby face I nursed, the toothless smile that greeted me every morning (and many times at night), the shining brown eyes – now shine with child wisdom.

Who knew child wisdom exists?  I spend so much time teaching, instructing, directing, redirecting… I don’t see that sometimes these little ones see things more clearly than I do.

She had a good birthday.  Like any other day, siblings bickered, toddlers whined, babies napped at the least opportune time (but, thankfully, napped!)  The rhythm of family life is much the same ~ birthday or not.  Presents were opened, cake was eaten, one adventurous outing was accomplished.

But something was missing

Tired mama preparing for a bath… then I see the little 9-year-old… teary in the hallway.  Something missing for her, too.

what is it?

She tells me that she had hoped for some time, for some things… all to herself.  She wanted to eat her candy alone.  She wanted it to herself.  She didn’t want to give any to the whining little ones.  Quite simply, that.  I take her with me to the bath.  A good place for mama and daughter to talk.  Then, she tells me…

this is the best part.  Mom, this is the best part of my whole birthday. 

That is it.  Time.  Time together.  The connection – soul to soul.  She wanted me all to herself.  Quite simply, that.  A mama and her little girl sharing time.  It is so simple.  This is the gift she gives me, all over again.  Herself.  The peace that transcends all understanding covers us both.  Both of us, happy now.  I thank God for the moment He gives us.  A God moment.  I thank God for my little girl.

happy birthday to my baby

The best gift at the end of the day.  Two hearts turning to each other.

Malachi 4:6

He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents; or else I will come and strike the land with total destruction.


Filed Under: Motherhood

April 26, 2012 by Karin Leave a Comment

Treading water

Do you ever feel like you are treading water with all your might?
No matter how hard you try… you are certain, drowning is imminent.

If I just try a little harder…

It is a season for treading.  Treading until my legs ache and my body wants to succumb to the force of the water… to just let go.  Sometimes, the treading is mental.  Gasping for air between the needs of children, of aging parents, of friends, of others who need… not want.  I look around my life and know how I am blessed.  I know the comforts God has given me.  I see the gifts He has given me.  My gifts require loving maintenance and care.

And I feel like I am drowning.

This feeling of drowning… pretty much a self-pity party.  Why all these burdens?  Why all at the same time?  Funny, we don’t say that about the gifts.  I’ve never thought – “Oh, no, not so many gifts please.”

My whining, crying self-pity party… asking God… why is it so hard?  My parents, the pillars of strength from my youth, the models of adulthood to my child eyes.  Now, their eyes shine wisdom, less physical strength, the models of old age to my adult eyes.  The reality that even the strong ones grow weak, the memory fails, the old become like the very young.  Very much in need… not just want.

Maybe God gives us so much, and allows us the burdens, especially while we have physical strength… so that when we are old (if we are given the gift of old age)… when we are old – that is when our souls are the strongest.

He promised us He would never again flood the earth.  He gave us a symbol we see every time the sun and the rain meet.  A rainbow.

Genesis 9:8-16

8 Then God said to Noah and to his sons with him: 9 “I now establish my covenant with you and with your descendants after you 10 and with every living creature that was with you—the birds, the livestock and all the wild animals, all those that came out of the ark with you—every living creature on earth. 11 I establish my covenant with you: Never again will all life be destroyed by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth.”

 

 12 And God said, “This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: 13 I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. 14 Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, 15 I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. 16 Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.”

The pot of gold is our time with Him.  Our time with our husbands, our children, our parents, our friends (thanks Jenn, for this beautiful photo). This is the pot of gold – time.  Live it right here.  Right now.  The promise of no more flood.

 I will not drown.

It is not about trying harder.  It is about letting go.  Letting Him use me.  Less me.  More Him.  It’s easy to say that I will give Him my burdens, but I keep holding on with clenched fist.  Slowly, slowly, I am learning… clenched fist is not working out so well for me.

My young daughter brought home words from her Sunday school class… words from Him.  A message for her mama.  A message for all of us.  Take heart!

John 16:33

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.

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Meet Karin

Hi! My name is Karin Madden. Writer. Warrior wife. Mom of six pack. Homeschooler. German-blooded southerner. Welcome to the place where I explore what it means to grow stronger - spirit, soul, and body. I write to inspire and encourage - to remind you we are not alone. By being bold with grace and speaking truth in love, we can become who we are meant to be. I'm glad you are here.

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