~ Day 26 ~
Sometimes the longest walk… is across the room.
I remember that day like it was yesterday. Though the reflection in my mirror proves it was more than a few yesterdays ago. I remember it.
The doors of that magnificent old church opened. Both arched doors revealed a sea of faces waiting for one nervous bride.
I remember my girlfriend Kim fretting over her hair as her nerves tingled in last minute stage fright.
I remember my dad, handsome, standing straight and proud holding my arm. His German accent whispered in my ear as the gates to wedded bliss opened wide.
I remember taking those first few steps as the breath caught in my throat and the tears hovered in my lashes.
I heard the whisper of my warrior’s pilot comrade to my left,
Awesome.
I smiled to myself thinking I had succeeded at pulling off the perfect Princess Bride makeover.
I peered and saw the Scottish priest in his cowboy boots. Beaming.
Overwhelming. The crowd stood like a wave surging over a small unsuspecting shell sunning on the sand.
Breathtaking. The faces of people I loved, some I barely knew, some I didn’t know I would grow to love over the years. This family of friends and relatives welcomed me into the room.
And, I began to walk.
I remember a few faces in the sea. They smiled through my blurry eyes and my heart swelled.
I walked.
Then, I saw him.
Smiling and standing proud in his mess dress. Surrounded by his brothers, my brothers, and friends who had become brothers.
My feet carried me, I think. But, really, it was my heart.
And, we met at the altar.
This walk burned into my memory. I can close my eyes and see it still.
Then, the years rush. They pull and they push and the waves crash over and over again.
The ride is up and down over the swell.
I remember a song my girlfriend Jennifer and I used to play and repeat… and repeat. Big fans of Big Head Todd and The Monsters.
Bittersweet.
The song intrigued us as the single girls. The lyrics… they are just a little bit sad. How would we avoid the bittersweet?
It’s bittersweet
More sweet than bitter,
bitter than sweet.
It’s a bittersweet surrender.
The walk that day. Nothing but sweet. Completely and wholly surrendered.
And the years keep rolling and the waves keep crashing. And the lyrics come back to me…
I know we don’t talk about it.
We don’t tell each other.
All the little things that we need.
We work our way around each other…
As we tremble and we bleed.
The song still whispers a heartache. I’ve watched it happen. So many times, I’ve seen my friends tremble and bleed.
And my warrior and I, we have trembled and bled just a few times, too.
We work our way around each other. We ride these waves. And we just want to keep our heads above the water. But, really, we want to stand on the water and walk. We want to walk this walk together. We want to meet at the altar.
The good deed.
I met a couple of new friends a few weeks ago. I asked them for good deeds and I waited for stories about heroic acts and gifts given in secret. Then, Shannon smiled and told me,
I walked across the room and gave my husband a glass of water.
I stopped and looked into her eyes.
She went on,
We had been disagreeing and I was so frustrated with him. But, I wanted to make peace.
So, I served him. I walked across the room and gave him a glass of water.
And, it changed everything.
Another brave heart I had just met, Karen, she laughed and said,
I just brought my husband tea.
We weren’t in the best place with each other and were both frustrated.
I made him a cup of tea.
I walked across the room and handed it to him. And, he melted.
I smiled at the simplicity of the deed. The simplest deed is sometimes the very hardest one.
I thought about the times my warrior and I have battled on our own hills.
Sometimes the walk across the room… is the longest walk.
This ride, these waves, the best deed… walk across the room completely and holy surrendered.
The sweet surrender.
The longest walk… our feet won’t carry us.
But, in surrender… our hearts can.
As we meet at the altar again… and again.
Ephesians 5:1-2
Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
