Not what she expected.
My sweet ten-year-old looked up at me from behind the soft covers. With tears in her eyes she mumbled,
Maybe your next anniversary will be better.
I cocked my head to the side,
Better than what?
She went on,
Maybe you and Dad will be able to go out and have dinner… I don’t know.
I smiled into her innocent eyes. These young recipients of endless princess tales vividly displayed on wide-screen. The princesses who get clothing lines and figurines and jewels. The ones who sing like angels and fight like brave hearts. The ones who struggle through adversity and end up in a life that’s – perfect. With a theme park thrown in.
I laughed,
Sweetie, this was a good anniversary. I got to see my honey… you know, Dad. I was able to hang out with all of you. We are healthy and fed and in a home – all together. That IS a good anniversary.
She looked at me suspiciously,
Ok. But, it’s your anniversary.
I went on, trying to convince this young girl of the beauty of simplicity,
Well, and maybe we can go out to dinner someplace really nice… really soon.
She smiled and hugged my neck,
Ok, Mom, that sounds great. Maybe you can drive to the mountains or something.
(I’m fairly sure she wanted to add… in a horse-drawn carriage)
I tucked her sweet innocence into bed, blew kisses, and turned off the light.
I looked at my warrior,
You know, she wonders why this wasn’t more romantic. She’s watching and wondering where the fairy tale is.
He and I both chuckled, knowing the fairy tale in this chapter is six sleeping children. That is a good anniversary.
Fairy tales. The funny thing is, I grew up hearing my mother’s German fairy tales, and they were far from the story we show our own kids. The original versions involved pain and healing, life and death, beauty and horror. I have books my mother saved – the old hardback German books from our childhood. The characters are running around with hair on fire and thumbs cut off. Pretty morbid stuff. And I didn’t fall apart… as far as I remember. The real stuff of real fairy tales… was real. Or at least not glossed over and fluffed up.
The beauty in the reality of it all… was the end. The redemptive stories intertwined with mayhem. A little bit more like… life.
The fairy tales on our screens today might just bring our princesses (and our princes) crashing down – to reality. There is romance, there is true love, there is charm and beauty… but, it’s not perfect. Not yet.
Don’t get me wrong. I love a beautiful ending all tied up in a bow. There is no Disney-deficiency anemia in our home.
I love that Pocahontas had a heart-gripping romance with John Smith – even though in real life it wasn’t true. In real life, legend has it, she was a brave soul who saved the neck of John Smith and married a man named John Rolfe. She was baptized a Christian and given the name Rebecca.
I love that little red-haired Ariel marries the prince, grows feet, and has a fabulously explosive wedding. Even though the mermaid fairy tale of my childhood told how the mermaid not only longed to be with the prince, but also deeply desired the eternal human soul. This eternal soul – mermaids don’t have. The story in our old German book ended in her death. It made me sad as a kid.
Yes, I love the glossy new versions, but I wonder if they really prepare our little warriors for the real deal? The battle in this life for faith and hope and love. And, it is a battle. The battle worth living for.
Hans Christian Andersen said it well,
Every person’s life is a fairy tale written by God’s finger.
Not the glossy versions, but the real, raw stories of recklessness and redemption… of doubt and deliverance… of fear and freedom. Of life and death. And, Life.
Maybe I’ll pull those old fairy tales out and read them to my kids. I’ll read the German version to the sound of giggles and translate the stories to English. The real versions, as they were really written. Maybe kids can handle the messy tales – knowing the glory is coming in the end.
The important part is the ending. It doesn’t always end well… here. The real ending hasn’t come yet. The best part – the real ending is the real beginning.
A confession. I already read the last page, and… spoiler alert…
Love wins.
Revelation 22:17
The Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” And let him who hears say, “Come!” Whoever is thirsty, let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life.
As I read this I couldn’t help but to think of all the times early on in my marriage when I was looking for the fairy tale. Our marriage was far from it so I went looking elsewhere for it. I came back and our marriage continued to be so far from what I dreamed of as a child. I worried about my children…oh how we must have been destroying their lives through our mess. I’m not sure if this will come out correctly, but I recently read a post that talked about the Hallelujah’s in our stories. God has given us many Hallelujah’s. One of them is our kids came through all that messiness. Maybe it was because it was all just real. It wasn’t hidden from them and they got to witness how God transforms. It isn’t the ending yet but He gives us Hallelujah’s along our journey. Okay, tears are falling now. 🙂
I simply love you! You bless me so with your words and your heart. And your pictures…simply lovely my friend.
Oh Beth. Now you have me in tears. We can’t really know how huge our Hallelujahs are if we haven’t been in the trenches, right? Thank you for being so real and honest here. I can completely relate to the real messiness of the “real fairy tale.” It’s not what we find in the glossy books. It’s incredibly important to share the real stuff with our kids, or they’ll live with this skewed idea of what is real. If we could all be this honest, imagine how far we could go… Thank you, sweet friend. I love you and am so grateful for your words, and especially your heart. <3
Beautiful Karin! What a treasure your words are for your children and for all of us. How can I share your posts. I am not tech savvy and I am really not sure how I arrived at receiving them, but I would like to share with my kids. Jeanne
Thank you, Jeanne! This makes me laugh – my tech savviness has a pretty steep learning curve. You got this post because you subscribed to the email list. You can have your kids subscribe (it’s under my photo on the home page of my website). They can enter their email addresses and hit subscribe. Then they’ll get a confirmation email. Or you can share the posts on Facebook. I post them to my Sunrise with a six pack page (you can “like” my page by clicking “like” in the Facebook box on the home page). You can share and tag your kids’ names, and I also post on my personal page. You can share there also. I’d love it if your kids would subscribe. You have a most wonderful and beautiful family!
Jeanne, I have added bright sharing buttons below each post. You can share everywhere and anywhere. I hope this helps. Thank you for sharing, my friend.
This was a beautiful piece, Love, Love, Love!
Thanks for sharing.
Thanks, Stacey! Happy to see you here today.
Karin, as usual you made me cry by the end. What a post!!! Now THIS one is my new fave. My grandma’s old storybooks have fairytales far different from the fantasy I grew up wanting. I was certain I WAS Cinderella, I related to Snow White and was sure life would be “perfect”. Real life trumps fantasy. My fave stories in my grandma’s books were “LIttle Orphant Annie” where the goblins would get me if I didn’t watch out! And something about an old geezer who wanted the pig to jump over the fence and beat it with a stick. (I know I’m leaving out the good details, sorry I’m a bit fuzzy). And those princess pictures by the laundry???? You could/should enter contests. That is a winner
Thanks, Christa! I’m laughing at your story about the geezer, the pig, and the stick. I can only remember bits and pieces of so many stories my mom told me. Some of them were pretty crazy and I loved them! It’s funny – I didn’t know the Disney versions until I was older. Our childhoods were simpler (in some ways), but the stories were more intense. Now, life is more complicated for kids, but the stories are “glossier.” Seems odd to me. Yes, my little princess in the laundry room… I love to capture these sweet kid moments. She wanted to help me, and put on her very best for the job. I love that. Maybe I should try that?
This is the most beautiful post I have read in a long time. I’ve been married 25 years. We’ve weathered some storms and I think sometimes I am still waiting for the reality of the fairy tale fulfilled. I remind my children (older now) that that is not real life. It is the life that God has given to us, with all of the mess, mundane, imperfections and struggle that are the true fairy tales. You have a beautiful heart and I love your words.
Thank you, Barbie, for your encouraging words here. Truly. It means so much to hear from someone who has been married for a long time, and has weathered the storms. I am grateful for the real stories about the “mess, mundane, imperfections, and struggle.” It reminds us we are not alone. The fairy tale truly is the life He has given us. A big hug and heartfelt thanks to you today, Barbie.